Hats

HATS by Rachelle Phipps

When you see me in town, then hear about things I do at home, well, it creates a lot of mystery. I kill opossums under my chicken coop one day, holding them up for the world to see on Facebook, and then show up in heels and skinny jeans the next. I'm really not who I seem to be, because I have to wear a lot of hats. I'm wearing the hat of an army wife and have been for over a decade, so I have to be resourceful and resilient and forgiving and sexy (more on that later) all at the same time. I say sexy, because that's how I maintain my sanity and it's a survival mechanism for feeling like I have it all together (plus I believe we should be good-looking for our men -more on that later). The more I look put-together and fashionable, the more you can bet, that it has been a stressful day and I honestly took 18 minutes to do something for myself, for once... As an army wife, my other survival mechanism is ferociously cleaning two days prior to my husband leaving and for a week after he leaves. I've come to realize it's the only thing I feel I have control over in this lifestyle.


I wear the hat of a veteran homeschooling mom and that one is quite puzzling. I'm never sure exactly how I feel about it because some days are amazing and grace-filled and perfect, and some days it feels like a Wild West show in which I created the performers. It's worth it though, especially on the days that I internalize the fact that my five kids are learning more than just academics, but life skills, ability to interact with any age, and a great work ethic (yes, I know they can learn those things in public school too, but let me just have this moment). Mostly, I'm just happy that I get to spend my whole day with them. Honest truth. ‪#‎phippsfamilyhomeschool‬



Speaking of the five children (and maybe more in the future), that's my other hat. I wear the hat of mom to a tribe of quirky kids who detest the questions I get from strangers: "don't you know how that happens?" or the questions they get from strangers: "Is that your sister or your mom?", (speaking of me) and "Why aren't you at school?" I like this hat though; I always wanted 6 or 8 kids and God's been good to us. Being a mom is fantastic work and I can honestly say I love every moment of it. Really. I was only supposed to be the mom of three but now I get to be the mom of five so I cherish every part...every season...every day. ‪#‎soblessed‬


My other hat should be labeled "network marketing enthusiast", because seriously, I wish I could join them all! I dabbled around in two network marketing companies before I found "my people" and "my thang". Yes I said thang, not thing...a thing is something you just do because you have to...a thang is something you're passionate about and good at. So I do my thang and love every minute of it. It's not going away any time soon!! ‪#‎plexusforlife‬
Another hat I wear is "small farm owner" but the farm seems really big when I'm trying to take care of it by myself. This is the hat covered in grass from weed-eating, dirt from gardening, and horse hair from riding bareback on the mare that I've owned since I was 10...I don't like to ride other horses; just her. The kids and I sell chicken and duck eggs on Sunday. Chickens have always been a passion of mine but owning ducks has turned out to be my niche so the "duck-girl" hat isn't getting discarded any time soon, either. There's too much to mention with this farm-woman hat. It encompasses my life...hence the reason I feel the need to dress up, even to church and Awana, or the grocery store. I'm a hillbilly bum, the rest of the time, so that's my only time to feel like a lady! ‪#‎hillbillycharm‬ ‪#‎kybluegrassgirl‬ ‪#‎thatduckgirl‬



One hat that confuses the hell out of me is my "Lover" hat. I'm a wife to someone who is incompatible with me but completes me in every way. Later you'll hear about a hat that is the epitome of antithesis (you know...the opposite of what you would think) and this one is like that hat, except I call it the epitome of contradiction. Everything I am that is good and worthwhile is not what he is. Everything in me that I am terrible or useless at, he excels at. Everything in him that is wonderful and true and pure, I am not even close to being. Everything in him that is undesirable, and worthless, I have an easier time with. Marriage was not created to make you happy. It was created to make you holy and IT WILL, IF YOU LET IT. The marriage hat is the hat I could pull my hair out along with, but I don't. To me, the marriage hat is as serious as the next one I'll be talking about. The commitment hat is what this marriage hat should be called...not always...but always when it can be. It should be sexy too, when it can be. Not always, but when it can be. Not when you're pushing an 8-pound human being into the world, but all other times. Sexy and committed. That's what I try to be. I think those two things will have you covered. You're not going anywhere and you look amazing where you're not going. Done deal. I need a hashtag for this area of my life...how about ‪#‎sexyandstaying‬ Cooking is important too, but I learned the hard way that it's not the most important. Sexy while cooking is snazzy though. Just don't fry bacon naked.



Besides all that I've mentioned and the ones I don't have time to mention, like: sister to three amazing people...friend to many (though I seriously suck at this one)... lover of all things Dwight Yoakam (most of my life- goals revolve around something to do with Dwight ‪#‎timedontmattertome‬ or the TV show LOST)...daughter of two fine people... hater of Pinterest (seriously, I hate Pinterest)... housekeeper (if you know me, this is one thing I do excel at...if nothing else...at least I've succeeded at the cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness thang-->notice I said Thang) ...amateur writer who struggles with security, competency, and capability issues, not to mention...finding the time to write and avoiding dangling modifiers (I definitely had to edit one sentence up there that sounded like I was selling chicken and duck eggs along with my children)...and many other hats that aren't worth listing, my last hat is who I really am under all the fluff. It's the hat that really defines me. I don't think many people know who they really are. They don't know the hat that really defines them. But I do. It's holey, its worn, its the opposite of everything you think it should be, it's been with me since I was 19 and selfish and proud and mean-turned-redeemed. It has stuck with me when I was self-righteous and judgemental and when I didn't deserve to wear it. It hung topsy-turvey, holding on by a thread, when I was heart-broken and desperate for real love and acceptance. When everything else was stripped from me, and I had nothing left to cover the humiliation and nakedness of a raw heart, I wore it because it was all I had left to wear. Even when I had to pin it, to keep it in place, this hat convinced me to keep it on; that it was worth it. When I went through circumstances that would cause most to throw this hat in the air and high-tail it outta there, this hat promised me it would never forsake me, so I didn't forsake it. This hat has seen nights of depression and desperate fighting down in the muck, for my place and purpose...valleys of disappointment, betrayal, confusion, cuss words in my journal, teardrops on the pillow... This hat has been to the mountains of promises fulfilled many times over, blessings bestowed on my undeserving life, the sewing and binding up of a wounded heart, extreme victories over captive, pet, and even non-conscious sins brought to the light. This hat is the real me. This is the hat that Christ himself gave me to wear. The other hats I chose to wear. This hat I chose, but it was also chosen for me in some weird, predestined, theological, way that I can't explain. There's this balance between laying your whole life down and giving up everything, but at the same time taking up something that's being freely given and placing it on your head and the only reason you are wearing it is because Christ chose to put it right there in your path. Christ predestined my path and where it would lead and he placed that hat there for me to find, and there in the slum of life, in the dirt of a twisted trail, I desperately gave up everything (just like I do to this very day), and I chose to place that hat on my head. I choose this hat everyday, but it also chose me. And it's white....Good thing.

Day 4 of Thanksgiving ~ Thankful for 'Maids'

Thankful for 'Maids' Proverbs 31: 13-15 I'm probably not the first woman to read Proverbs 31 and say, "Well, she had servants and that's how she got all that work done". It's true that many biblical women had maid-servants and the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31 was of high social position, but what many people might not realize, is that Proverbs 31 may be describing more than one woman. The Life Application Bible states "that she may be a composite portrait of ideal womanhood". None of us can do everything listed in Proverbs 31. For instance, I enjoy writing and organizing (two things not directly stated in Proverbs 31), but I am not a good seamstress, nor can I knit. I think a good premise to stand on, is the belief that we become Proverbs 31 women, when we do the best we can with our time, talents, and the gifts that God gives us. The verses I want to take a look at seem very ordinary, but if you stop to put a modern spin on them, you will see that you work just as hard as she does and you have a lot to be thankful for. Here is a very small portion of Proverbs 31 to look at: "She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens." (Proverbs 31:13-15 NASB) Have you ever been clothes shopping with your children? It's insane. Just as this woman looked for wool and flax to make yarn with, we get everyone ready to go (just this in itself can be crazy), get through traffic, change a diaper, nurse an infant, head into the store, try to find stuff on sale (that's never on sale, on the day that you're there), find the correct sizes, deal with boys hiding in clothes racks and groaning in the bra section, take the potty-training toddler to the bathroom where he is afraid of the toilet and won't pee, wish your oldest child was old enough to babysit as you look longingly at the shoe and handbag racks but pass them as quickly as possible to avoid temptation, checkout and usually spend more than you wanted to (but your heart was good and in the right place; it just didn't work out), head home completely exhausted, and realize that what used to be fun is seriously A LOT of work, now! But if you think about it, we have modern-day servants (called vehicles, shopping carts, and conveyor belts) that make shopping much easier than in biblical times when they went to the market on a daily basis. This woman worked with her hands in delight. I love that phrase. It's one of my favorites in Proverbs 31. Do you do your laundry, dishes, and chores with delight? Because just like those women had maidservants in biblical times, so do we. They are called the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, vacuum, etc. They make our lives easier. So while we may not have household servants making the workload easier, these modern day appliances are essentially, "extra hands", that we need to be thankful for. I don't always take delight in my household chores. I'm usually worried about the next thing that needs done. I'm writing this for myself, as much as anyone else. I want to work with my hands in delight, just like she did. This lady was compared to a ship who brought her food from afar. I definitely feel like I'm in a ship when I go grocery shopping. It is an all day affair for us, and then we usually have to do schoolwork along the way, and when we get home. It's another day that makes me exhausted but I'm thankful again that I have a vehicle that's big enough to enable me to only have to shop every two weeks. We have a refrigerator, as well, that enables us to go longer between shopping, than the Proverbs 31 lady, could. She rises while it is still night and prepares food for her household. If Proverbs 31 is about one woman, I doubt she had an infant that kept her up during the night, and if she did, most biblical women of high social status had nursemaids, which actually breastfed the babies. When I don't have a nursing baby I do get up while it's still night, and make breakfast, and pack lunches. Not all of us can do that, but I think in the heart of every woman is the desire to do so. Our motive and heart's desire is what God sees; not if we sleep while the toddler (who is normally up at 6am) and the infant sleep a little later than usual. The point of that statement in verse 15, I think, is that we not be lazy, but instead work diligently to provide for our household. We can thank God for the seasons when we are up a lot during the night, with babies. We can thank him for ANY sleep we do get, during these seasons. We can thank God and bless his name when we don't have any babies, we sleep more during the night, and we are able to get up earlier. How my heart longs for the days when I can return to my early mornings, again. I miss that time with my husband and with the Lord. The last sentence in verse 15 states that the Proverbs 31 woman gives portions to her maidens. We don't have any maidservants. Some of us have daughters but I would hate for you to view any of your children in this light. Children should help around the house; they are a vital part of any household that functions well, but never should they be seen as your servant. How can we view this last portion of the verse, in a modern yet biblical way, then? I'll tell you how I view it. You remember that our vehicle, our appliances, and our modern inventions are essentially 'extra hands'? They are almost like maids, for us. Thus, I think that providing care and stewardship for them, should be a part of any modern-day Proverbs 31 woman. We are called to steward all gifts from God wisely. We need to treat these gifts as if we are thankful for them. We can keep them clean, sparkling, and in good working order. We can budget for oil changes, car washes, filters, etc. We can teach our children to care about things and not destroy them. This, if anything, grows gratitude in children, for property of their own and others. I need some help in this area. I see going to the car wash as "driving in the rain"! If something has wheels or a motor, or both, I will find a way to ruin it. Thankfully, (and I am seriously thankful) I met and married an engine mechanic who can fix literally anything! :) At least God knows I am thankful for my husband, and that my motives are pure when it comes to things with motors. He knows I just lack sense. In conclusion, can you begin to see modern inventions comparable to biblical servants? Can you begin to be thankful for these "extra hands"? Nothing fosters this more, than doing without for awhile, which we have done a time or two. If you have never done without, try to imagine what it would be like. Today, let's be grateful for the modern things we take for granted! God bless!

Day 3 of Thanksgiving ~ Thanksgiving during the Night Watches

Thanksgiving during the Night Watches Psalm 119: 62,148 If you are a mom (especially a young mom), or you have trouble sleeping, then you know how it feels to be awakened several times during the night. It's easy to become bitter about losing sleep, compare yourself to others who *appear* to have gotten more sleep than you did, and to become accustomed to dreading the night time. With our first three babies, I hated being woken up. I did everything I could to ensure that that baby would sleep through the night, as early as possible. If the baby woke up, I got him or her back to sleep as quickly as possible, and with an aggravated sigh of relief, I went back to bed. This was especially true with the first two. I had started to loosen up with the third baby, but I still did not see being woken up, as a good thing. I'm sure a lot of moms can relate to this. It wasn't until I couldn't have any more babies, that I looked back and regretted my attitude toward night wakings. During the five year period, when we couldn't have any more babies, I came across Psalm 119:148: ("My eyes anticipate the night watches, That I may meditate on Your word."). I was grieved that I had missed out on the blessings that God may have had for me when our first three babies were little. The word 'anticipate' really stood out to me. I realized my attitude was completely wrong and selfish and that I had never anticipated the time I could have spent with God and my baby, during the night. I could have snuggled my baby, rocked him or her with joy, prayed, read my bible, meditated on scripture, or just enjoyed the smell of my newborn. I felt God speak to me over and over about this verse, until I longed for another chance for a re-do. When we got that chance and little Quintin was born, everything was different. My whole outlook and attitude was different, and so was the baby. If God had not prepared me with that verse, and changed my attitude, I would not have been able to survive the challenges that Quintin brought. The child would not nurse. The child didn't want any bodily contact aside from bare minimum care. I finally found a tiny bottle with a tiny nipple (my friend recommended I look for one). I pumped for weeks, used that tiny bottle, and slowly got Quintin used to being near me by using skin to skin contact a little at a time, at night. He finally started nursing full time at 5-6 weeks (and somehow I never had to give him formula) and he nursed happily for 16 months. No mom wants the added stress of pumping at night (for the next feeding), plus all of the normal sleep deprivation of a newborn, but I did it, and I look back and can honestly say, I handled it with grace and joy. Yes, I complained a little, and yes it was difficult, but I hung in there. I asked people a lot of questions and I learned from the experience. I'm sure someday I will be able to help someone else. When Quintin finally switched to full-time nursing, I was even more grateful than I was before, because I could nurse him at night and not have to get up to pump. I snuggled him, and rocked him, and I loved being up with him. It was the sweetest time of my life. When Isaiah was born, little did I know, I was in for an opposite challenge. He nursed from the time he came out of the womb :), but he wanted to be as close to anyone as he possible could. I can hardly stand co-sleeping, and I've never really supported it. We don't let our kids in our bed. I've always seen our bed as a sanctuary of rest and relaxation, communion and connection. No kids allowed! But Isaiah challenged me on this for the first 12 weeks and now I'm not so judgmental of couples who allow kids in their beds! I slowly transitioned Isaiah into sleeping in his own bed and he loves his bed, now, but he'd happily sleep with me all night if I let him. Those first 12 weeks were so hard, and I did complain, but I also look back and I know I had a different attitude about it. I remember saying, "He just needs time". Last week, I was up with him 5 times one night, due to teething. In the morning he had his new tooth, and I was tired but there was no bitterness towards being woken up. I've come so far! I would like to blame coffee as the culprit of my changed attitude, as I didn't drink coffee with our first three babies, and maybe it has a little to do with it, but I can honestly say that God changed my perspective. Let this verse soak into your spirit, too: "At midnight I shall rise to give thanks to You Because of Your righteous ordinances."(Psalms 119:62 NASB) God is Lord of the day, and we clearly and purposefully allow him to be. What I'm suggesting to you, is that you allow him to be Lord of your night, too. When you are up at night, learn to make it a productive time, of prayer and thanksgiving. Let it be a joyful time, where you soak in that all-too-fleeting time with your baby. None of us can do this perfectly and I'm not suggesting that I do. I can say, however, that by taking small steps in the right direction and surrendering this to God, he can slowly change your bad attitudes, into thanksgiving! God bless, and by all means, THANK God for the sleep you do get and COFFEE! <3

Day 2 of Thanksgiving ~ Thanksgiving in Absence

Thanksgiving in Absence 1 Thessalonians 3 Have you ever led someone to the Lord, or heard or seen someone profess Christ, and then within a few months, something happens and they stop going to church, or they are no longer interested in being involved. Worse yet, they go back to their old way of life, or they do something that makes everyone question if they really became a new creation in Christ? I'm not writing this to question their salvation or make a statement like, "Well, that just proves they weren't truly saved in the first place". Read 'When Godly People do Ungodly Things' by Beth Moore, if you are the type of person who has ever made this type of statement. Instead, the question I want to focus on is, "Wasn't it disheartening?" Because truly, what hurts in our hearts the most, is our concern for the person. It's heartbreaking to see people go back to their old ways and to wonder if they didn't receive the proper discipleship, enough prayer, enough encouragement, enough training in spiritual warfare...the list goes on. We can beat ourselves up all day about this issue. There is only so much the church can do for these people; only so much you can do for these people. In fact, it's inevitable that this happens because we are human, and there is only so much of one person to go around. In First Thessalonians, Paul worried that the new believers in Thessalonica, had done exactly what I'm talking about. Back then, the only means of communication was through letter-writing. Paul had no idea how the new believers were doing. They had heard the gospel from Paul and then Paul was chased out of the city. The Thessalonians received no discipleship; only the prayers of Paul, Timothy, and Silas. In verse one, of Chapter 3, Paul couldn't stand the suspense any longer. Paul had to know how they were doing, so he sent young Timothy to check on them. They were doing fine. Have you ever led someone to Christ, or seen or heard of someone professing Christ, and then maybe they move, or you move? You wonder how they are doing. Maybe you worry yourself sick. I know I have. I worry that Satan will come and destroy, or take, anything he can. But then, you hear word of this person, or you see on social media, that the person is blooming and growing, and living each day for Christ. It is the single most wonderful feeling of relief you will ever feel, to know that someone you know and love, is persevering in the faith. I know exactly how Paul felt. Maybe you do, too. In fact, both situations (the good and the bad) have happened to me. In verses 7-9, Paul refers to this feeling of relief over others and knowing that they are standing firm in the faith, as "REALLY LIVING"! Even while Paul had a difficult life (he wrote Thessalonians while in Corinth trying to reason with the Jews - Acts 18: 5-6), he still found so much to be thankful for. The life that others were living became what Paul rejoiced and thanked God for, even while enduring hardship in his own life (Second Corinthians 11). Maybe your own life isn't going so well, either. Is there even one person you know, who is persevering? Is there even one who is walking with God? Is this enough for you? It was enough for Paul. Today, thank God for people you know who are standing firm, especially if you are absent from them. Pray for those ones who aren't doing so well, knowing that your prayers can bear fruit in their life. God bless you!

Day 1 of Thankfulness ~ Thanksgiving in the Muck

Thanksgiving in the Muck Thanksgiving Day 1 Jonah 1-4 One of my favorite books of the Bible is Jonah. This probably seems very odd, but I have tons of journaled notes in my Bible, in the book of Jonah. When I am angry I read it. When I am sad I read it. It's a short book of the Bible and it's simple and entertaining to read. It's easy to understand, too. The reason I love it so much is because I identify with Jonah. I identify with Jonah a little too much, unfortunately. I encourage you to read it; it will only take ten minutes. You might find yourself in Jonah, just like I do. You'll see your own disobedience, your bitterness, your anger, your unforgiving spirit, your rebelliousness, and other negative personality traits, in the person of Jonah. However, I hope that you will also see in Jonah, his teachable spirit, his humility, his repentance, and his thanksgiving. I hope you will be able to see yourself in this light, as well. If you'd like, please read Jonah 1-4, and then join me here, when you're done. Throughout the years, I've learned more than I care to admit from Jonah, but today I want to focus on the thankfulness (or lack thereof) of Jonah. Rather than being thankful for the job God had given Jonah, he rebelled and disobeyed God, and even ran in the opposite direction. Jonah had no heart for the Ninevites and no thankfulness for the privilege of doing God's work in Nineveh. Once he came to his senses, Jonah proclaimed the Word of the Lord to the Ninevites but in reality, his heart really wasn't in it. He was not thankful that God had relented from sending the calamity, once Nineveh repented. Jonah sat outside the city, angry and perturbed, and hot. He was thankful when God provided shade for him to ease his physical discomfort, but God will not relieve spiritual discomfort, when the purpose is discipline. Jonah became angry when the shade was destroyed, not realizing that the shade was an object lesson, meant to teach him something about himself, and others. I encourage you to dig deep into Jonah chapter 4. Discover for yourself the meaning that God may have in it, for YOU. Draw some of your own conclusions, about the ending. I promise you, God will show you something. There are so many points to the book of Jonah that I can't choose just one to emphasize. But, what I do want to emphasize today, is true thankfulness, even in the murky, mucky, messy areas of life. We get to peek into Jonah's life when he is at his lowest point (no pun intended) in Chapter 2. The whole chapter shows his repentance, sorrow, and his thanksgiving (in verse 9). He is so grateful to God that he realizes he must keep his vows. We don't know what they were, but I believe they were vows to serve the Lord. How quickly Jonah went back to his despondency, though, and how like him we are. It's so easy to call upon God in times of trouble, stating all manner of things which we seriously mean, only to forget about them when times are good. Let's be honest and admit that when times are hard and life is messy it's hard to be thankful. It took being swallowed by a fish for Jonah to be thankful. Let's also be honest and admit that when life is good, we get busy, and we forget to be thankful. In order to reconcile these two extremes, we must come to the point where we 'look' for things to be thankful for if times aren't going so well, and we remember the Lord's grace and goodness when times are good, and we don't forget to be thankful then, either. So look around today, no matter where you find yourself, and find one thing to be thankful for! Even Jonah found many things to be thankful for when he found himself in the belly of a fish, surrounded by muck. I think we can, too! <3

Day 30 of Thankfulness ~ My Testimony

Day 30: My Testimony Today is the last day of my Thankful posts. I've had so much fun writing them everyday and sharing my life with you all. I saved a lot of the best things for last, like marriage, my husband, my life. Today, I want to share my testimony, for those who haven't heard it--lots have, but maybe you haven't. It's a simple testimony, nothing flashy, except that it's mine! ;). I was raised in a Christian home, where, until 2000 (when my dad started trucking) my family was altogether, every night, except when my dad was TDY. We went to church every Sunday, and small group on Wednesdays. My mom homeschooled us, and we were quite sheltered, which I am so VERY thankful for. They imparted values into my life, taught me what God's Word says and what it means, and they taught me to apply it to my life. But, growing up that way has some spiritual disadvantages. You think you are a Christian (by this I mean, saved), because "you grew up that way". You tend to become self-righteous, too. You don't mean to do it. It just happens because you learn to "not be of this world in actions, and words, and deeds". You are taught morality, grace, consequences of sin, etc. So, being raised this way, generally, you don't go along with the crowd, sinning, partying, and getting into trouble. You're not perfect, but you're not doing what the other kids are doing either; at least to the level that they are. And so, you grow up being self-righteous. You don't really see your personal sin as "that bad". So while I'm thankful for my upbringing and the instruction I received, I'm also sad to say that I was not saved! God didn't show me this until January of 2002. I had been progressively dealing with a lot of doubts concerning God's Word. Satan planted little seeds in my heart, such as, "Do you really believe that Jonah is a true story?...maybe it's just an allegory". Or, "Do you really believe God created the world?" Satan used my biblical knowledge and my parents' instruction against me. Slowly, I started to doubt small things, until I doubted the big things, too. This went on for years, until 2002. By January of 2002, I'd had enough of the yo-yo Satan had me on. Tired of the uncertainty, I started to give up, and give in, to the inner voice inside me and the voices of my parents, pastors, and friends. One night I decided to look in my concordance for scriptures on doubt. The first one that caught my eye was a strange verse in Romans....so far from the salvation verses used and taught, as "The Romans Road", and John 3:16. There tucked in Romans 14, is the inconspicuous verse 23, "But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:23 ESV)! In that moment, even though Paul wasn't even talking about salvation, but something totally different, I realized I was a sinner, because I lived a life of doubt. I repented, turned to Christ for forgiveness, and never doubted God's Word or truth, again. Today, my spiritual gifting is the gift of Faith. THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT SATAN WANTED! Isn't that amazing, how God does divine reversals? Today, when I'm under what seems like impossible circumstances, impossible people, or my own "impossible-ness", that gift of faith bubbles up. It's always there. Now there may be times that I don't understand God's way, his timing, or his will, and my trust in him may waiver, a volcano of Faith usually takes it's place, and I usually don't stay in that hopelessness, for very long. ;) So, today, I am thankful that even the strangest parts of God's Word, are all used: "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 NIV)" "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, (2 Timothy 3:16 ESV)" So for God's Word, His Grace and His Forgiveness, and for my little testimony, I am SO THANKFUL!!! I leave you with these words from Jesus: John 17:17 "Sanctify them by the truth, your Word is Truth"

Day 19 of Thankfulness ~ My Life and How I Came to Be

Day 19: My Life and How I Came into Being I'm so thankful that God chose to give me life! My parents were afraid to have children, due to a rare syndrome called Fraser's syndrome. This caused their first born son, Eric, to be born full term, but lived only moments. He died with his first few breaths. They had no idea, because there just wasn't the same kind of medical technology available 36 years ago, as there is now. Their baby was born severely deformed. You can look at images online of this syndrome. It's SCARY!! And that could have been me!!! The doctors warned my parents not to have anymore children. They decided to use birth control. Five long years passed for them. I'm sure it hurt so badly to want children, but be so afraid to have them. Then God broke through the barrier. God broke through the barrier of perfectly used birth control and through the barrier of their fear. I was conceived and there was even greater fear, I'm sure. But then they beheld my tiny face, and perfectly formed body, when I was born May 24th 1982, at 5:39 pm. And something changed inside both of them. The birth control went in the trash and was never discussed again. They went on to lose many children (mostly early miscarriages, and one late second trimester-almost third trimester- pregnancy with a little girl named Rebekah Jean), but also had two other daughters and then later in life, a son!! Do you realize now, why I LOVE children and will never go on birth control? I saw the faith in my parents to trust God, with their family. I saw them move out of fear, and into trust. I saw them love greatly, each child God gave them. I saw them mourn greatly, each loss. I will see my many brothers and sisters again, someday, in heaven. I will never stop or interfere with any blessing that God will so choose to give us! Do you see now, why my heart ached when my husband wanted and got a vasectomy? Why I almost drowned under anger, bitterness, and a lashing tongue. How I became a wife no one would want? I'm so sorry, James....So sorry. :(. But God is a gracious and forgiving God; teaching and correcting his children. Do you see how God took us on a hike of faith, and the four year journey of waiting for the reversal? God is good!! I am not....but I was delivered from so many things/sins during that journey, that the glory can only go to God. Only God can change a woman like I was....angry, bitter, and mean. Never judge a family by it's cover. I'm sure people assumed that my parents "weren't having any more kids" after the third girl was born. I'm sure people thought "if they try for a boy, it will be a girl, so they might as well stop". This wasn't the case at all. AT ALL!!! They never used birth control after I was born. They wanted many children. That's not what God wanted for them. They walked in what God did want for them, though. They influenced my life in a way, that my heart overflows with gratefulness. With trust. With passion. With love. I'm so thankful that God chose to give me life, and has been so patient when I've royally screwed it up!!!! <3.

Day 28 of Thankfulness ~ What the Army Taught Me

Day 28: What the Army Taught Me-from childhood until now- And Why I'm Thankful for It Seems like a weird day (Thanksgiving Day), to be thankful for what the Army has taught me, but when you think about it, it's really not weird. If you are a military family, you know exactly why today is a great day to be thankful for the military and what it has taught you. There are many, many reasons why, but at the top of our lists, it's probably something to do with "never taking anything for granted, because it (whatever it is) could be gone tomorrow". Here is a list of what the Army has taught me, from childhood until now! This is why I'm thankful for this type of life. These hard lessons learned: 1) The life of an Army family is an adventure and should be treated as such, if you want to maintain any level of sanity. ;) Help children to get through the storminess, without being stormy, yourself. Because ultimately, there are orders in your husband's hands that are signed by the Army, but ordained by God. There is a reason why you have to go where you are going. Teach yourself and your children to anticipate what God will do, at this new duty station. Look for his hand. SEE his mighty works!!! 2) Make friends with every person you come in contact with, especially neighbors and church family. You do not know what treasure these precious people have for you, your husband, or your children. I'm not saying you will "click" with everyone. Not at all. I'm saying, you need to try, because that person is probably there for a reason! Don't wait until you've lived somewhere for 2 years and finally feel settled in and ready to make friends. You will regret it, when a year later, you have to say goodbye. 3) Facebook is awesome for keeping in touch with the sheer amount of these people that God brings into your life, via the military. I'm so thankful that Facebook has made it a lot easier to stay connected, because there is absolutely no way I'd have time to write, email, or call all of these wonderful people! <3 4) Race, ethnicity, culture, and background should make absolutely no determination of friendship, value, importance, or worth. No racism, or prejudice should be allowed in your home! I went to school with all races, and loved it. I'm so thankful that the Army made people "all the same" in my eyes!!! I would have missed out on many blessings!!! Don't miss out on these!!! This is so important! <3 5) ABSENCE DOES NOT MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER!!! It is quite the opposite. Deployments, hardship tours, and even short TDY makes you independent, too strong for your own good, causes breaks and gaps in communication, and causes cracks in the marriage relationship! Bad cracks!!! Satan uses these cracks to wreak havoc. Divorce, drug abuse, and suicide, are high in the military. Don't naively think that your marriage will last because you love each other. TAKE GREAT MEASURES to communicate, not be so independent, and share weakness with your spouse. Communicate the best you can. I know it's hard but it's worth it. I learned this lesson much later than I should have. I thought being the strong, independent, Army wife, who can handle anything, was somehow a good thing. God showed me it's not at all. 6). Ask for help when you need it. There will be times that you have a newborn baby and your husband leaves. There might be times when he misses the birth of his child. You can't do it alone. You CAN, but it's not a pretty outcome, or healthy for anyone. Ask for help!!! 7) Make EVERY holiday and birthday a huge deal because there will be times that your husband will have to miss something. If possible have Thanksgiving and Christmas in October if he's leaving! Plan ahead to celebrate a birthday or anniversary early, if he will be gone for one of them. 8) Become the best cook you can be! You don't have to be a gourmet cook but you need to know how to cook, so you are blessing to your husband! ;) He's been deployed and eating in the mess hall (or worse), in the field eating MREs, or TDY eating restaurant or fast food. The last thing he wants is food from a box! :). *SIDE NOTE: Husband, you will have to endure one more meal at a restaurant, sometime soon after your arrival home!! :). The last thing she wants to actually do, is cook and do dishes! <3 9) Build intimacy in all areas. This goes along with #5, but deeper. Use your imagination. ;) 10) Rely on God, not yourself. He ordained this life for you, he KNOWS every detail of what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen. All you have to do is walk in what he has planned/allowed to happen, in a manner worthy, of him. Don't take your eyes off Him, no matter what!!! NO MATTER WHAT! Don't quit!!! "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10 ESV)" There's so much more I could write! These are just off the top of my head! Feel free to add to them, in the comments!

God's Love Story, Not Theirs ~ Day 26

This is a narrative, I wrote yesterday, for Day 26 of Thankfulness. Sometimes there are just not adequate, first-person words to describe why you are thankful for something. Or, there are too many dimensions to the story, that it's just impossible to relay it the way you want to. This story is real. It is gritty. It is grace-filled. One thing that it is not, is finished. If there is one thing in our marriage that I am so very thankful for, it is God's patience with both of us! I hope this story blesses you and gives you hope, when you feel there is none to be had! Happy Day 26 of thankfulness! Love Rachelle God's Love Story; Not Theirs Day 26: Marriage Once upon a time there was a little girl, 12 years old, scrawny, awkward, and not popular at all. Always going against the tide. Always different. Never really fitting into the mold. Her theme song could have been, and is today, and will always be: "Outcast" by: Kerrie Roberts http://youtu.be/FfJ2-N5EGRY She sat in a DOD middle school, sex education classroom, and endured the snickering and annoyed sighs of the other kids, as she raised her hand and answered the question, "What is the best way to not get pregnant?" with "Abstinence". She didn't care. She never has. She never will. In the same classroom sat a 12 year old boy, only 19 days older than her. He was scrawny, the new kid, awkward, too, but a little more popular. He was cute, now that she thinks about it. End of the year comes. She smiles and asks him to sign her yearbook. They weren't friends. Just two kids, trying to discover who they were. He signs her yearbook; the same way he signs his name, today. He doesn't ask her to sign his...doesn't even extend it. Maybe just shy. Maybe just wanting someone to take initiative. Maybe just wanting a real friend. She turns and walks away. What's the point? Her parents have had enough of public schools. They've had enough of the emotional and verbal bullying their daughter endures. They've had enough of God not being allowed in schools. They have decided to do something that's not very common at that time in history. And so, the girl leaves public school, to be homeschooled. The boy's name in her yearbook, is just that: a name....a cute face....a person she'll likely never see again.... Except for this thing called God's agenda...his providence....his careful weaving of a tapestry called His Plan... The girl goes on. The boy goes on. Two years pass and neither one thinks of the other, or even cares. One likes horses, horses, horses....and boys. One likes cars, cars, cars....and girls. One day the boy gets in trouble; his "punishment" is care for an Army Chaplin's horse. A love for horses comes out of nowhere...or does it?? The Chaplin plants spiritual seeds that will lay dormant for years...and years...and years. But they are God's seeds, to be watered in His timing. Remember, it's God's story; not theirs....God's story; not theirs. The girl's mom runs a boarding stable. The boy gets a horse. One day the phone rings. Is it the boy's dad, talking to the girl's mom....or is it God calling, setting up his divine plan? The boy and the Bay horse come on a cold day in March...the 17th of March....1997. The girl and the boy meet again. They recognize each other. But it's different now. There's more hormones, there's common interest, there's no one else, really. There's just them. That day turns into everyday. They ride, they pass notes, they sit in the barn window, they don't talk much, they just sit most of the time. They just enjoy being together and talking isn't really required. One day they kiss; and they just know they will be together forever. They want to be together forever. The army makes the relationship long distance....a couple hundred miles apart....for 2 years. Then 2300 miles apart for one year. God is weaving; God is weaving. Weaving two lives together, day by day. The boy becomes a man, a horse-shoeing man, still wanting the girl. He travels west. He makes a living with anvil, hammer, and nails. The man makes a ring from a horseshoe nail. The girl wears it while she waits tables. Lots of guys like her, but it turns out, she only has eyes for the horse-shoeing man. She saves her money; he spends his. She balances her checkbook; his account is never balanced. He likes chicken enchiladas; she likes beef tacos. She rides English; he rides western. She is clean and organized. His truck is a disaster area. They talk more now. They realize they are very different. But alike in many ways, too. Chris LeDoux blares on the grey truck speakers. Dual tires tear up the night and Bear Paw Road. They ride, they shop, they play Shanghai, they just sit, he prep cooks, she waits the tables. Sometimes a kiss is shared by the chip table, when the restaurant is empty. Sin starts to creep in but not the kind you're thinking. They go to church. They make it right. She forgives. He reconciles. God is weaving. It's His Story, remember; not their's. Twin towers fall. North Idaho boys choose to enlist and if not they ride around in old Chevys, jacked up, with a flag flying. The Girl's horse-shoeing man, leaves. He goes back to what he knows. The girl can't wait to get back to what she has always known. ....Army....Army....Army. But it will be another year before he's home. Another year until they get to be together. Forever. Another year before they get to marry. Another year before the night they've protected (not perfectly, but sufficiently, for five years) and dreamed about, can finally come true...the night they get to be one. The day comes when the man finally gets home. The girl is ready. Her white dress is altered to fit her slim figure. His dress greens sport one stripe. It's summer. But it feels like fall. The orange roses are perfect. The jade green dresses are sewn and are hanging in girls' closets. The girl's grandfather is ready with their vows. The girl becomes a woman that day. A wife. A lover, in every sense of the word. The man becomes a husband, a provider, a hero. A month and a half later, they find out they will soon be parents. The five and a half years that they dated was long enough. They wanted a family. It's what they always dreamed of. A boy child arrives. Satan starts to get a hook into the home life of these three people. A girl child arrives. War ravages and takes casualties...real ones but mostly emotional ones. More sin. The woman starts to get bitter, critical, and shuts down. She's isolated. The man realizes that there are issues but he doesn't know how to fix them, talk about them; communicate. He's isolated. And it's just not that pressing. Nothing grace and forgiveness and love can't fix, they naively think. More children, more sin. Hers and his. But it's God's story, remember. Not theirs. There's devastation, heartache, bewilderment and strife. Thick darkness. Sin. Satan has put one final, last ditch effort into play, to ruin one more family for his sick kingdom. Their family. Naivety on both sides, made them think they were fine. Obedience wasn't as pressing as it should have been. The friends...the lovers...the ones who had known each other since they were 12, faced a word that neither one ever thought they would face....divorce. And they faced an enemy that neither one thought had as much power as he does....Satan. But keep in mind, it's God's love story. Not theirs. GOD'S LOVE STORY, NOT THEIRS. Where the now humble hearts, lose their pride...where the hurt ones learn to forgive....where the sinners repent and turn around....there is God. He is always there. He was always there. He will always be there. He is God of restoration. He is God of Hope. He is God of healing. He is God who hates divorce. He is God who makes two people into one. He is God who wants nothing, not even man, to separate what He has joined together. He is God who strengthens this weak woman and this tired man, to keep going. He is God of grace and forgiveness of sin. He is God who builds and weaves a tapestry that looks like a mess underneath...with what looks like shredded threads, colors blended together in such a disarray that no one could ever see beauty in it....until it is turned over, to reveal a story....a story that will not be finished until one of them goes home to be with this God. He is God who is in two categories of story weaving: some parts He allows; some parts He arranges. But all parts of his story are weaved in such a way, so that in the end, He gets the most glory from them. This is I AM. This is GOD'S STORY; NOT THEIRS. Matthew 19:6. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. http://youtu.be/775N1v94NkM