Priorities Lived Out

Priorities Lived Out Last year, I read Elizabeth George's book entitled "A Woman After God's Own Heart. It is a book that changed my life because it helped me change my priorities and see where some of my priorities were not in order. God has always been first in my life, since I came to know Him when I was 19. My personal intimate relationship with him has been like breathing, since then. It's very needed and natural. However, somewhere along the way my intimate relationship with Him got blurred with my spiritual growth, which are two separate things entirely. "What?", you say! I know...that doesn't make sense...but I'll explain later. In Elizabeth's book, she recommends making a daily list similar to the picture above (Note: The actual picture is located in my album titled "Priorities Sheet"...I couldnt get it to upload correctly), except that she just makes a written list every day with those same headings. I loved this idea because I was starting to realize that I had been neglecting some areas in my life. Somehow, they just got pushed to the side. I tried using a list like this, daily, but it was extremely overwhelming. Remember, priorities shouldn't become burdens, but joys! Instead, I use this list weekly and it works so well in my life. I'd like to share how I've come to live with my priorities in proper perspective! In the first box you see it is titled "God". If you are a believer this relationship must come first! In this box I list some things to cultivate my relationship with the Lord. Some of the items I put in this box for the week are: prayer, journaling (where I write to the Lord about my life, problems, joys, etc), single words such as "trust" or "obey" (things i need to remind myself to do throughout the week), being quiet before the Lord where I make time to listen to Him, and devotional time of reading his Word. This is totally different from studying his Word. This is where I get LIFE from his Word. This is where I breath it in, so I can live for Him throughout the day. This is delighting in His Word. This is soaking in His power, so I can make it through trials. This is vital! This is one area that is daily for me and I encourage you to make it daily in your life, too. Without this important relationship, there is no foundation in your life and nothing to build the rest of your relationships on. * Psalm 119:140-144. "Your word is very pure, Therefore Your servant loves it. I am small and despised, Yet I do not forget Your precepts. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, And Your law is truth. Trouble and anguish have come upon me, Yet Your commandments are my delight. Your testimonies are righteous forever; Give me understanding that I may live." In the second box you see it is titled "My Husband". I am writing this because I feel led to encourage women in this special area! The relationship with your husband must be your number one human relationship. This is an area that I let slide quite a bit. I think the years of being an army wife can make you very independent and sometimes you lose sight of the need to cultivate this area to the best of your ability. I almost lost my marriage. This is nothing to be ashamed of- only something to be learned from. And I firmly believe that marriages can be stronger through mistakes made, as long as the mistakes are corrected. Now don't misunderstand me...some things are just beyond your control as a wife, and have absolutely nothing to do with you as a wife or a person, a lover or a friend, BUT there are things I could have done better, the past ten years. There are things we can all do better in all of these areas. If your husband is an unbeliever, or is living in sin, that is not your fault. He makes his own choices. You didn't cause him to make his choices. On the flip side he cannot be blamed for your sin and choices. This is not the blame game and you are held responsible before the Lord, for your own responses and sin. You are still his wife, and there is much you can do to have a great marriage and it's never too late. In this category, I frequently have things such as: pray for him, send an encouraging text, date night, focus on communication, do the budget, and a variety of other things. Maybe your husband has asked you to do something he doesn't have time to do. Put that on the list. Maybe there's an area that needs severe help such as holding your tongue, walking in forgiveness, not being bitter, your critical spirit, making his meals more healthy, or your sexual relationship. Put whatever it is on the list. Keep this whole list in a special place where your husband and kids won't find it, since there might be things you want to keep a surprise or don't want your kids seeing. I usually hide my list before my husband comes home and take it out in the morning after he leaves for work. Some of the things you have on this list might be something you need to do daily or it could be something you can cross out after you've gotten it done. Most of the things on my list I try to do daily because I need to. Take this category seriously. Put your husband before yourself and be thankful for him. There is always something to be thankful for. Whatever you're going through in life, just know it could be worse!!! *Song of Solomon 3:4a." Scarcely had I left them when I found him whom my soul loves; I held onto him and would not let him go."* Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Enjoy life with the woman or man, whom you love, all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun, for this is your reward in life and in your toil, in which you have labored under the sun." The third box is entitled "My Children". It's so easy for children to become the main priority because they require so much from us. The more children you have, the harder it is to maintain proper perspective. However, children are very important. You are raising little ones for the Kingdom. You are molding little characters, lives, and hearts. This is your second most important earthly priority. If you are a homeschooling mom, it's very easy to get bogged down but we need to realize that each child needs a bit of our undivided attention. In this box I put each child's initial and one or two things I'd like to do with them that week. Remember that each of your children have a different love language and this will determine a lot of what goes on the list. Some of the things on the list will be the same for each child. One of my main desires is to be able to pray individually with each child, so I've had that on my list, recently. Zane's love language is Words of Affirmation, so a lot times my list for him includes encouragement or compliments. Abbie's language is quality time so her list usually contains cooking, playing games or playing with her dolls. Sheldon's language is physical touch, so his list usually contains a hug, kiss, or undivided eye contact and listening attentively to him. For Quintin I try to play or read to him daily. Don't let this be overwhelming! Ask the Lord to help you fill this incredibly daunting and taxing area to His liking! Remember this verse: * Psalm 127:3-4 "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." * "See the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. (Isaiah 40:10, 11 NIV) The third box contains "My Home". This is an easy area for me but I know some women struggle in it. I run my home very smoothly and the children help by cleaning up their own messes. I pick up my house every night before bed so that I can clean in the morning (my secret to a clean home). The kids clean their rooms every night. I do all of my laundry everyday. I wrote a large piece on this back in the day when I had little ones who were not in school, yet. I think I'm way more relaxed than I used to be then, but you can check it out if you want. It's in my Facebook notes section, entitled "Rachelle's Secrets to a Clean Home", I think. On my list I don't put the daily things. I only list extra things I'd like to get done that week or projects I'd like to work on. The Lord wants your home to be an expression of Him. It should be clean, orderly, comfortable, inviting, and a haven of rest! Your husband should be able to come home to this type of environment after he has worked hard all day to provide for his family. Children should be able to invite friends over, unashamedly. It should be a place your children have fond memories of and love coming back to after they are grown. It should be a place where visitors feel comfortable and cared for. *Proverbs 31:10-31. I won't list this passage, as we are probably all aware of what it says. If not, I encourage you to read it and discover what God desires a virtuous woman to look like. * Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." You see that after all of these categories I have in the fifth box, "My Spiritual Growth". After I feel that I have put enough emphasis on the prior four areas (not finished everything on the list, but have made an effort that I feel comfortable with), then do I allow myself to pursue learning, reading, and studying. This is different than building your intimate relationship with Christ. This is developing your understanding of God's Word. In this box I frequently have books I am currently reading and want to finish, areas or topics in the bible I want to study, Sunday School material I want to work through, our current counseling course work, or articles I want to read. If you are in college, you may need this box to entitle "My Spiritual Growth/College. Whatever your life is requiring right now, but do have an area for your spiritual education! If I am not careful, I will blur this area with priority number one and ignore prayer and communion with the Lord. So, just be careful here...reading a book does not count as quiet time with the Lord. * " My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you." (Proverbs 2:1-11 NIV) After this, you are ready for ministry! If you have spent sufficient time cultivating these areas, you have a great foundation for box number six, "My Ministries". My ministry will look different than yours but in this box I usually have: my awana lesson, homeschool co-op lessons, or random things I feel The Lord leading me to do, such as ministering to particular women, shooting a text to someone who needs encouragement, discipling people, or having people over for dinner. Enjoy filling up this box! God made you for ministry! * Isaiah 52:7 "How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who announces peace and brings good news of happiness, who announces salvation and says to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Box number seven is "My Friends". A hard area in my life is friendship. I have a very hard time cultivating friendships and pursuing activities with my friends. Though I minister with and see my friends often, it's hard to make time for one-on-one time with them. Its even hard to have time for group activities. It's something I want to work harder on but don't have a lot of ideas for. Sadly, this box is frequently empty, aside from responding to emails, making phone calls, and sending texts to keep in touch. It's just not a strong area in my life. The Bible talks so much about the importance of friendship, even calling believers, "His friends", so we must make time for community and healthy, blossoming, productive friendships! *John 15:15 "No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." * Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity." The last box, but definitely not the least is the "Me" box. Make time for yourself! You need times throughout the week for refreshment, or to do things you might want to do. I'll admit; I rarely get anything done on this list. Some recent things on this list are: organize recipes and photos, and scrap-booking. There are things I do daily for myself that I don't put on the list, though. I like to wear earrings and put on a little makeup even if I'm not going out, that day. It's nice to feel beautiful throughout the day and look nice for my husband when he gets home. And no matter how many kids I have, I will never give up my hot bath every night! ;). Your list will look different than mine, just make sure you do something for yourself. Make sure the children know that it's your time and not to bother you! And remember, it's your time but its not about you. Dwell on The Lord and his goodness through all these priorities. You are living and breathing because God allows you to! Remember to thank him for the moments you get for yourself! * "Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward. Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God. For he will not often consider the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart. "(Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 NASB) I usually make my list on Monday morning. Pick a day that's good for you and don't overfill. List only what you think you can do but enough to challenge you and help you change. Realize that a lot of these categories interweave. I might be sitting down nursing the baby, while I read a chapter in a book, the children are doing chores I have directed them to do, laundry is going in the other room, I send a text to a friend or my husband real quick, and I'm drinking a cup of coffee! :) A lot of it is multi-tasking, but being aware of my surroundings and my list at the same time. Let it interweave, but make sure you are mentally keeping the list of priorities in order. I pray this post is helpful for you in living out proper priorities, with the proper perspectives. I know for me, God has done a major overhaul in this area of my life. I'm not ashamed of this fact. When a car engine needs an overhaul, it is because it has worked hard, done many things, and needs new parts. It is the same with our lives. If you are tired it is a good sign that you have been working hard. We get tired and need help. We need a new perspective. We need fresh revelation from God. After a needed overhaul we are ready to move forward and minister to our husbands, children, friends, and world. Remember to have grace for yourself. You can't do everything but do try to do what God has told you to do. You will make mistakes in this life. Learn from your mistakes and go on. I love this promise from God. * “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with lapis lazuli. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. All your children will be taught by the Lord , and great will be their peace. In righteousness you will be established. (Isaiah 54:2, 3, 11-14a NIV) Make sure you are using those costly materials listed in the above passage from Isaiah, for your foundation. Make sure that what you are building with is precious in the sight of God. And remember that you, a virtuous woman, are far more precious than rubies. Act like who God says you are! Don't settle for anything less! God bless you in your journey, as you live out your priorities! Let's let the Lord have the last word! "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31:10, 29-31 NIV)