Hats

HATS by Rachelle Phipps

When you see me in town, then hear about things I do at home, well, it creates a lot of mystery. I kill opossums under my chicken coop one day, holding them up for the world to see on Facebook, and then show up in heels and skinny jeans the next. I'm really not who I seem to be, because I have to wear a lot of hats. I'm wearing the hat of an army wife and have been for over a decade, so I have to be resourceful and resilient and forgiving and sexy (more on that later) all at the same time. I say sexy, because that's how I maintain my sanity and it's a survival mechanism for feeling like I have it all together (plus I believe we should be good-looking for our men -more on that later). The more I look put-together and fashionable, the more you can bet, that it has been a stressful day and I honestly took 18 minutes to do something for myself, for once... As an army wife, my other survival mechanism is ferociously cleaning two days prior to my husband leaving and for a week after he leaves. I've come to realize it's the only thing I feel I have control over in this lifestyle.


I wear the hat of a veteran homeschooling mom and that one is quite puzzling. I'm never sure exactly how I feel about it because some days are amazing and grace-filled and perfect, and some days it feels like a Wild West show in which I created the performers. It's worth it though, especially on the days that I internalize the fact that my five kids are learning more than just academics, but life skills, ability to interact with any age, and a great work ethic (yes, I know they can learn those things in public school too, but let me just have this moment). Mostly, I'm just happy that I get to spend my whole day with them. Honest truth. ‪#‎phippsfamilyhomeschool‬



Speaking of the five children (and maybe more in the future), that's my other hat. I wear the hat of mom to a tribe of quirky kids who detest the questions I get from strangers: "don't you know how that happens?" or the questions they get from strangers: "Is that your sister or your mom?", (speaking of me) and "Why aren't you at school?" I like this hat though; I always wanted 6 or 8 kids and God's been good to us. Being a mom is fantastic work and I can honestly say I love every moment of it. Really. I was only supposed to be the mom of three but now I get to be the mom of five so I cherish every part...every season...every day. ‪#‎soblessed‬


My other hat should be labeled "network marketing enthusiast", because seriously, I wish I could join them all! I dabbled around in two network marketing companies before I found "my people" and "my thang". Yes I said thang, not thing...a thing is something you just do because you have to...a thang is something you're passionate about and good at. So I do my thang and love every minute of it. It's not going away any time soon!! ‪#‎plexusforlife‬
Another hat I wear is "small farm owner" but the farm seems really big when I'm trying to take care of it by myself. This is the hat covered in grass from weed-eating, dirt from gardening, and horse hair from riding bareback on the mare that I've owned since I was 10...I don't like to ride other horses; just her. The kids and I sell chicken and duck eggs on Sunday. Chickens have always been a passion of mine but owning ducks has turned out to be my niche so the "duck-girl" hat isn't getting discarded any time soon, either. There's too much to mention with this farm-woman hat. It encompasses my life...hence the reason I feel the need to dress up, even to church and Awana, or the grocery store. I'm a hillbilly bum, the rest of the time, so that's my only time to feel like a lady! ‪#‎hillbillycharm‬ ‪#‎kybluegrassgirl‬ ‪#‎thatduckgirl‬



One hat that confuses the hell out of me is my "Lover" hat. I'm a wife to someone who is incompatible with me but completes me in every way. Later you'll hear about a hat that is the epitome of antithesis (you know...the opposite of what you would think) and this one is like that hat, except I call it the epitome of contradiction. Everything I am that is good and worthwhile is not what he is. Everything in me that I am terrible or useless at, he excels at. Everything in him that is wonderful and true and pure, I am not even close to being. Everything in him that is undesirable, and worthless, I have an easier time with. Marriage was not created to make you happy. It was created to make you holy and IT WILL, IF YOU LET IT. The marriage hat is the hat I could pull my hair out along with, but I don't. To me, the marriage hat is as serious as the next one I'll be talking about. The commitment hat is what this marriage hat should be called...not always...but always when it can be. It should be sexy too, when it can be. Not always, but when it can be. Not when you're pushing an 8-pound human being into the world, but all other times. Sexy and committed. That's what I try to be. I think those two things will have you covered. You're not going anywhere and you look amazing where you're not going. Done deal. I need a hashtag for this area of my life...how about ‪#‎sexyandstaying‬ Cooking is important too, but I learned the hard way that it's not the most important. Sexy while cooking is snazzy though. Just don't fry bacon naked.



Besides all that I've mentioned and the ones I don't have time to mention, like: sister to three amazing people...friend to many (though I seriously suck at this one)... lover of all things Dwight Yoakam (most of my life- goals revolve around something to do with Dwight ‪#‎timedontmattertome‬ or the TV show LOST)...daughter of two fine people... hater of Pinterest (seriously, I hate Pinterest)... housekeeper (if you know me, this is one thing I do excel at...if nothing else...at least I've succeeded at the cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness thang-->notice I said Thang) ...amateur writer who struggles with security, competency, and capability issues, not to mention...finding the time to write and avoiding dangling modifiers (I definitely had to edit one sentence up there that sounded like I was selling chicken and duck eggs along with my children)...and many other hats that aren't worth listing, my last hat is who I really am under all the fluff. It's the hat that really defines me. I don't think many people know who they really are. They don't know the hat that really defines them. But I do. It's holey, its worn, its the opposite of everything you think it should be, it's been with me since I was 19 and selfish and proud and mean-turned-redeemed. It has stuck with me when I was self-righteous and judgemental and when I didn't deserve to wear it. It hung topsy-turvey, holding on by a thread, when I was heart-broken and desperate for real love and acceptance. When everything else was stripped from me, and I had nothing left to cover the humiliation and nakedness of a raw heart, I wore it because it was all I had left to wear. Even when I had to pin it, to keep it in place, this hat convinced me to keep it on; that it was worth it. When I went through circumstances that would cause most to throw this hat in the air and high-tail it outta there, this hat promised me it would never forsake me, so I didn't forsake it. This hat has seen nights of depression and desperate fighting down in the muck, for my place and purpose...valleys of disappointment, betrayal, confusion, cuss words in my journal, teardrops on the pillow... This hat has been to the mountains of promises fulfilled many times over, blessings bestowed on my undeserving life, the sewing and binding up of a wounded heart, extreme victories over captive, pet, and even non-conscious sins brought to the light. This hat is the real me. This is the hat that Christ himself gave me to wear. The other hats I chose to wear. This hat I chose, but it was also chosen for me in some weird, predestined, theological, way that I can't explain. There's this balance between laying your whole life down and giving up everything, but at the same time taking up something that's being freely given and placing it on your head and the only reason you are wearing it is because Christ chose to put it right there in your path. Christ predestined my path and where it would lead and he placed that hat there for me to find, and there in the slum of life, in the dirt of a twisted trail, I desperately gave up everything (just like I do to this very day), and I chose to place that hat on my head. I choose this hat everyday, but it also chose me. And it's white....Good thing.

God's Word: His Message to You

March 24, 2014 · God's Word; His Message to You It's 3:20 (my time) but there's still time for you to see what message God has for you, today. Run your fingers over your Bible and open it and see what you might find! :). I did that today, because I've been busy with Spring cleaning. I turned to Romans chapter 4, and in there I have this section underlined: Without becoming weak in faith he (Abraham) contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb; yet, with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith, giving glory to God, and being fully assured that what God had promised, He was able also to perform. Therefore it was also credited to him as righteousness. (Romans 4:19-22 NASB) Do you know that the only way you will be strengthened in your faith is to see God work? Do you know that the only way you will see God work is to ask him in prayer, to do the impossible things, the big changes in you and others, and the little things? These things add up, into a life of faithfulness TO God and faith IN God. In 2007, as I struggled with wanting to have more children but not being able to, I asked God to take away the desire for children since it was impossible for us to have more. When you pray, you also have to sit quietly to hear God's answers. I sat quietly and God told me that he would not take away that desire because we would have another child. This was impossible at the time. We thought the army didn't do reversals. We had obligations to pay debt, not save money for a reversal. I didn't really believe God, but I stepped out in faith and do you know what I did? I cultivated further, my love for my own children. I asked God everyday to reveal to me what the next step was, and often it was to wait and to keep having faith. I wrote in my journal everyday; never giving up on God. I cried. We paid off debt. God gave me promises in his word, including the one in Romans above, and Luke 1:45, and Isaiah 30:18, which I meditated on. As the years went by, having a baby became an idol. God corrected me and I learned to love God more than anything else, even a baby. Once this happened, the doors opened for a reversal and then more waiting happened. It was a sweet time for James and I. We became a little closer as we waited for God, we started to communicate and forgive a little better. I learned to keep loving God with all my heart and soul and mind. And then God answered my prayer, after 4 1/2 years, and we were going to have another baby, only to lose it through miscarriage. We did not know if it would take a long time to get pregnant again, or if we even would. I wondered if that was the baby God had promised me. I learned very quickly that God wanted me to see that He is the promise keeper but his promises are on his terms, not mine. I am to have faith, and be faithful to Him. He showed me that He definitely has the power to fulfill his promises, but he also has the power to give and take away, and he wanted to see if I would still praise him in the hard times....if I would still believe that he is good. And then the next month we were pregnant with Quintin and finally, after five years, we got to hold a new baby! :) God is good and he gives us his word, as his message to us. Please don't take it casually. He speaks through his word and through the quiet moments you spend with him. He hears you. He answers you. He longs for you to place your life, your dreams, and your desires in his hands. If you haven't read his word today, there's still time. ;). There's still time to pray and ask him for the things you need and want. The only way you will have a story to write like the example I've given when I saw Romans 4, is to ask and see God work. Let God write your story! <3 http://youtu.be/ecV1NHmELuA

Day 30 of Thankfulness ~ My Testimony

Day 30: My Testimony Today is the last day of my Thankful posts. I've had so much fun writing them everyday and sharing my life with you all. I saved a lot of the best things for last, like marriage, my husband, my life. Today, I want to share my testimony, for those who haven't heard it--lots have, but maybe you haven't. It's a simple testimony, nothing flashy, except that it's mine! ;). I was raised in a Christian home, where, until 2000 (when my dad started trucking) my family was altogether, every night, except when my dad was TDY. We went to church every Sunday, and small group on Wednesdays. My mom homeschooled us, and we were quite sheltered, which I am so VERY thankful for. They imparted values into my life, taught me what God's Word says and what it means, and they taught me to apply it to my life. But, growing up that way has some spiritual disadvantages. You think you are a Christian (by this I mean, saved), because "you grew up that way". You tend to become self-righteous, too. You don't mean to do it. It just happens because you learn to "not be of this world in actions, and words, and deeds". You are taught morality, grace, consequences of sin, etc. So, being raised this way, generally, you don't go along with the crowd, sinning, partying, and getting into trouble. You're not perfect, but you're not doing what the other kids are doing either; at least to the level that they are. And so, you grow up being self-righteous. You don't really see your personal sin as "that bad". So while I'm thankful for my upbringing and the instruction I received, I'm also sad to say that I was not saved! God didn't show me this until January of 2002. I had been progressively dealing with a lot of doubts concerning God's Word. Satan planted little seeds in my heart, such as, "Do you really believe that Jonah is a true story?...maybe it's just an allegory". Or, "Do you really believe God created the world?" Satan used my biblical knowledge and my parents' instruction against me. Slowly, I started to doubt small things, until I doubted the big things, too. This went on for years, until 2002. By January of 2002, I'd had enough of the yo-yo Satan had me on. Tired of the uncertainty, I started to give up, and give in, to the inner voice inside me and the voices of my parents, pastors, and friends. One night I decided to look in my concordance for scriptures on doubt. The first one that caught my eye was a strange verse in Romans....so far from the salvation verses used and taught, as "The Romans Road", and John 3:16. There tucked in Romans 14, is the inconspicuous verse 23, "But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin. (Romans 14:23 ESV)! In that moment, even though Paul wasn't even talking about salvation, but something totally different, I realized I was a sinner, because I lived a life of doubt. I repented, turned to Christ for forgiveness, and never doubted God's Word or truth, again. Today, my spiritual gifting is the gift of Faith. THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT SATAN WANTED! Isn't that amazing, how God does divine reversals? Today, when I'm under what seems like impossible circumstances, impossible people, or my own "impossible-ness", that gift of faith bubbles up. It's always there. Now there may be times that I don't understand God's way, his timing, or his will, and my trust in him may waiver, a volcano of Faith usually takes it's place, and I usually don't stay in that hopelessness, for very long. ;) So, today, I am thankful that even the strangest parts of God's Word, are all used: "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12 NIV)" "All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, (2 Timothy 3:16 ESV)" So for God's Word, His Grace and His Forgiveness, and for my little testimony, I am SO THANKFUL!!! I leave you with these words from Jesus: John 17:17 "Sanctify them by the truth, your Word is Truth"

Day 19 of Thankfulness ~ My Life and How I Came to Be

Day 19: My Life and How I Came into Being I'm so thankful that God chose to give me life! My parents were afraid to have children, due to a rare syndrome called Fraser's syndrome. This caused their first born son, Eric, to be born full term, but lived only moments. He died with his first few breaths. They had no idea, because there just wasn't the same kind of medical technology available 36 years ago, as there is now. Their baby was born severely deformed. You can look at images online of this syndrome. It's SCARY!! And that could have been me!!! The doctors warned my parents not to have anymore children. They decided to use birth control. Five long years passed for them. I'm sure it hurt so badly to want children, but be so afraid to have them. Then God broke through the barrier. God broke through the barrier of perfectly used birth control and through the barrier of their fear. I was conceived and there was even greater fear, I'm sure. But then they beheld my tiny face, and perfectly formed body, when I was born May 24th 1982, at 5:39 pm. And something changed inside both of them. The birth control went in the trash and was never discussed again. They went on to lose many children (mostly early miscarriages, and one late second trimester-almost third trimester- pregnancy with a little girl named Rebekah Jean), but also had two other daughters and then later in life, a son!! Do you realize now, why I LOVE children and will never go on birth control? I saw the faith in my parents to trust God, with their family. I saw them move out of fear, and into trust. I saw them love greatly, each child God gave them. I saw them mourn greatly, each loss. I will see my many brothers and sisters again, someday, in heaven. I will never stop or interfere with any blessing that God will so choose to give us! Do you see now, why my heart ached when my husband wanted and got a vasectomy? Why I almost drowned under anger, bitterness, and a lashing tongue. How I became a wife no one would want? I'm so sorry, James....So sorry. :(. But God is a gracious and forgiving God; teaching and correcting his children. Do you see how God took us on a hike of faith, and the four year journey of waiting for the reversal? God is good!! I am not....but I was delivered from so many things/sins during that journey, that the glory can only go to God. Only God can change a woman like I was....angry, bitter, and mean. Never judge a family by it's cover. I'm sure people assumed that my parents "weren't having any more kids" after the third girl was born. I'm sure people thought "if they try for a boy, it will be a girl, so they might as well stop". This wasn't the case at all. AT ALL!!! They never used birth control after I was born. They wanted many children. That's not what God wanted for them. They walked in what God did want for them, though. They influenced my life in a way, that my heart overflows with gratefulness. With trust. With passion. With love. I'm so thankful that God chose to give me life, and has been so patient when I've royally screwed it up!!!! <3.

God's Love Story, Not Theirs ~ Day 26

This is a narrative, I wrote yesterday, for Day 26 of Thankfulness. Sometimes there are just not adequate, first-person words to describe why you are thankful for something. Or, there are too many dimensions to the story, that it's just impossible to relay it the way you want to. This story is real. It is gritty. It is grace-filled. One thing that it is not, is finished. If there is one thing in our marriage that I am so very thankful for, it is God's patience with both of us! I hope this story blesses you and gives you hope, when you feel there is none to be had! Happy Day 26 of thankfulness! Love Rachelle God's Love Story; Not Theirs Day 26: Marriage Once upon a time there was a little girl, 12 years old, scrawny, awkward, and not popular at all. Always going against the tide. Always different. Never really fitting into the mold. Her theme song could have been, and is today, and will always be: "Outcast" by: Kerrie Roberts http://youtu.be/FfJ2-N5EGRY She sat in a DOD middle school, sex education classroom, and endured the snickering and annoyed sighs of the other kids, as she raised her hand and answered the question, "What is the best way to not get pregnant?" with "Abstinence". She didn't care. She never has. She never will. In the same classroom sat a 12 year old boy, only 19 days older than her. He was scrawny, the new kid, awkward, too, but a little more popular. He was cute, now that she thinks about it. End of the year comes. She smiles and asks him to sign her yearbook. They weren't friends. Just two kids, trying to discover who they were. He signs her yearbook; the same way he signs his name, today. He doesn't ask her to sign his...doesn't even extend it. Maybe just shy. Maybe just wanting someone to take initiative. Maybe just wanting a real friend. She turns and walks away. What's the point? Her parents have had enough of public schools. They've had enough of the emotional and verbal bullying their daughter endures. They've had enough of God not being allowed in schools. They have decided to do something that's not very common at that time in history. And so, the girl leaves public school, to be homeschooled. The boy's name in her yearbook, is just that: a name....a cute face....a person she'll likely never see again.... Except for this thing called God's agenda...his providence....his careful weaving of a tapestry called His Plan... The girl goes on. The boy goes on. Two years pass and neither one thinks of the other, or even cares. One likes horses, horses, horses....and boys. One likes cars, cars, cars....and girls. One day the boy gets in trouble; his "punishment" is care for an Army Chaplin's horse. A love for horses comes out of nowhere...or does it?? The Chaplin plants spiritual seeds that will lay dormant for years...and years...and years. But they are God's seeds, to be watered in His timing. Remember, it's God's story; not theirs....God's story; not theirs. The girl's mom runs a boarding stable. The boy gets a horse. One day the phone rings. Is it the boy's dad, talking to the girl's mom....or is it God calling, setting up his divine plan? The boy and the Bay horse come on a cold day in March...the 17th of March....1997. The girl and the boy meet again. They recognize each other. But it's different now. There's more hormones, there's common interest, there's no one else, really. There's just them. That day turns into everyday. They ride, they pass notes, they sit in the barn window, they don't talk much, they just sit most of the time. They just enjoy being together and talking isn't really required. One day they kiss; and they just know they will be together forever. They want to be together forever. The army makes the relationship long distance....a couple hundred miles apart....for 2 years. Then 2300 miles apart for one year. God is weaving; God is weaving. Weaving two lives together, day by day. The boy becomes a man, a horse-shoeing man, still wanting the girl. He travels west. He makes a living with anvil, hammer, and nails. The man makes a ring from a horseshoe nail. The girl wears it while she waits tables. Lots of guys like her, but it turns out, she only has eyes for the horse-shoeing man. She saves her money; he spends his. She balances her checkbook; his account is never balanced. He likes chicken enchiladas; she likes beef tacos. She rides English; he rides western. She is clean and organized. His truck is a disaster area. They talk more now. They realize they are very different. But alike in many ways, too. Chris LeDoux blares on the grey truck speakers. Dual tires tear up the night and Bear Paw Road. They ride, they shop, they play Shanghai, they just sit, he prep cooks, she waits the tables. Sometimes a kiss is shared by the chip table, when the restaurant is empty. Sin starts to creep in but not the kind you're thinking. They go to church. They make it right. She forgives. He reconciles. God is weaving. It's His Story, remember; not their's. Twin towers fall. North Idaho boys choose to enlist and if not they ride around in old Chevys, jacked up, with a flag flying. The Girl's horse-shoeing man, leaves. He goes back to what he knows. The girl can't wait to get back to what she has always known. ....Army....Army....Army. But it will be another year before he's home. Another year until they get to be together. Forever. Another year before they get to marry. Another year before the night they've protected (not perfectly, but sufficiently, for five years) and dreamed about, can finally come true...the night they get to be one. The day comes when the man finally gets home. The girl is ready. Her white dress is altered to fit her slim figure. His dress greens sport one stripe. It's summer. But it feels like fall. The orange roses are perfect. The jade green dresses are sewn and are hanging in girls' closets. The girl's grandfather is ready with their vows. The girl becomes a woman that day. A wife. A lover, in every sense of the word. The man becomes a husband, a provider, a hero. A month and a half later, they find out they will soon be parents. The five and a half years that they dated was long enough. They wanted a family. It's what they always dreamed of. A boy child arrives. Satan starts to get a hook into the home life of these three people. A girl child arrives. War ravages and takes casualties...real ones but mostly emotional ones. More sin. The woman starts to get bitter, critical, and shuts down. She's isolated. The man realizes that there are issues but he doesn't know how to fix them, talk about them; communicate. He's isolated. And it's just not that pressing. Nothing grace and forgiveness and love can't fix, they naively think. More children, more sin. Hers and his. But it's God's story, remember. Not theirs. There's devastation, heartache, bewilderment and strife. Thick darkness. Sin. Satan has put one final, last ditch effort into play, to ruin one more family for his sick kingdom. Their family. Naivety on both sides, made them think they were fine. Obedience wasn't as pressing as it should have been. The friends...the lovers...the ones who had known each other since they were 12, faced a word that neither one ever thought they would face....divorce. And they faced an enemy that neither one thought had as much power as he does....Satan. But keep in mind, it's God's love story. Not theirs. GOD'S LOVE STORY, NOT THEIRS. Where the now humble hearts, lose their pride...where the hurt ones learn to forgive....where the sinners repent and turn around....there is God. He is always there. He was always there. He will always be there. He is God of restoration. He is God of Hope. He is God of healing. He is God who hates divorce. He is God who makes two people into one. He is God who wants nothing, not even man, to separate what He has joined together. He is God who strengthens this weak woman and this tired man, to keep going. He is God of grace and forgiveness of sin. He is God who builds and weaves a tapestry that looks like a mess underneath...with what looks like shredded threads, colors blended together in such a disarray that no one could ever see beauty in it....until it is turned over, to reveal a story....a story that will not be finished until one of them goes home to be with this God. He is God who is in two categories of story weaving: some parts He allows; some parts He arranges. But all parts of his story are weaved in such a way, so that in the end, He gets the most glory from them. This is I AM. This is GOD'S STORY; NOT THEIRS. Matthew 19:6. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. http://youtu.be/775N1v94NkM