Hats

HATS by Rachelle Phipps

When you see me in town, then hear about things I do at home, well, it creates a lot of mystery. I kill opossums under my chicken coop one day, holding them up for the world to see on Facebook, and then show up in heels and skinny jeans the next. I'm really not who I seem to be, because I have to wear a lot of hats. I'm wearing the hat of an army wife and have been for over a decade, so I have to be resourceful and resilient and forgiving and sexy (more on that later) all at the same time. I say sexy, because that's how I maintain my sanity and it's a survival mechanism for feeling like I have it all together (plus I believe we should be good-looking for our men -more on that later). The more I look put-together and fashionable, the more you can bet, that it has been a stressful day and I honestly took 18 minutes to do something for myself, for once... As an army wife, my other survival mechanism is ferociously cleaning two days prior to my husband leaving and for a week after he leaves. I've come to realize it's the only thing I feel I have control over in this lifestyle.


I wear the hat of a veteran homeschooling mom and that one is quite puzzling. I'm never sure exactly how I feel about it because some days are amazing and grace-filled and perfect, and some days it feels like a Wild West show in which I created the performers. It's worth it though, especially on the days that I internalize the fact that my five kids are learning more than just academics, but life skills, ability to interact with any age, and a great work ethic (yes, I know they can learn those things in public school too, but let me just have this moment). Mostly, I'm just happy that I get to spend my whole day with them. Honest truth. ‪#‎phippsfamilyhomeschool‬



Speaking of the five children (and maybe more in the future), that's my other hat. I wear the hat of mom to a tribe of quirky kids who detest the questions I get from strangers: "don't you know how that happens?" or the questions they get from strangers: "Is that your sister or your mom?", (speaking of me) and "Why aren't you at school?" I like this hat though; I always wanted 6 or 8 kids and God's been good to us. Being a mom is fantastic work and I can honestly say I love every moment of it. Really. I was only supposed to be the mom of three but now I get to be the mom of five so I cherish every part...every season...every day. ‪#‎soblessed‬


My other hat should be labeled "network marketing enthusiast", because seriously, I wish I could join them all! I dabbled around in two network marketing companies before I found "my people" and "my thang". Yes I said thang, not thing...a thing is something you just do because you have to...a thang is something you're passionate about and good at. So I do my thang and love every minute of it. It's not going away any time soon!! ‪#‎plexusforlife‬
Another hat I wear is "small farm owner" but the farm seems really big when I'm trying to take care of it by myself. This is the hat covered in grass from weed-eating, dirt from gardening, and horse hair from riding bareback on the mare that I've owned since I was 10...I don't like to ride other horses; just her. The kids and I sell chicken and duck eggs on Sunday. Chickens have always been a passion of mine but owning ducks has turned out to be my niche so the "duck-girl" hat isn't getting discarded any time soon, either. There's too much to mention with this farm-woman hat. It encompasses my life...hence the reason I feel the need to dress up, even to church and Awana, or the grocery store. I'm a hillbilly bum, the rest of the time, so that's my only time to feel like a lady! ‪#‎hillbillycharm‬ ‪#‎kybluegrassgirl‬ ‪#‎thatduckgirl‬



One hat that confuses the hell out of me is my "Lover" hat. I'm a wife to someone who is incompatible with me but completes me in every way. Later you'll hear about a hat that is the epitome of antithesis (you know...the opposite of what you would think) and this one is like that hat, except I call it the epitome of contradiction. Everything I am that is good and worthwhile is not what he is. Everything in me that I am terrible or useless at, he excels at. Everything in him that is wonderful and true and pure, I am not even close to being. Everything in him that is undesirable, and worthless, I have an easier time with. Marriage was not created to make you happy. It was created to make you holy and IT WILL, IF YOU LET IT. The marriage hat is the hat I could pull my hair out along with, but I don't. To me, the marriage hat is as serious as the next one I'll be talking about. The commitment hat is what this marriage hat should be called...not always...but always when it can be. It should be sexy too, when it can be. Not always, but when it can be. Not when you're pushing an 8-pound human being into the world, but all other times. Sexy and committed. That's what I try to be. I think those two things will have you covered. You're not going anywhere and you look amazing where you're not going. Done deal. I need a hashtag for this area of my life...how about ‪#‎sexyandstaying‬ Cooking is important too, but I learned the hard way that it's not the most important. Sexy while cooking is snazzy though. Just don't fry bacon naked.



Besides all that I've mentioned and the ones I don't have time to mention, like: sister to three amazing people...friend to many (though I seriously suck at this one)... lover of all things Dwight Yoakam (most of my life- goals revolve around something to do with Dwight ‪#‎timedontmattertome‬ or the TV show LOST)...daughter of two fine people... hater of Pinterest (seriously, I hate Pinterest)... housekeeper (if you know me, this is one thing I do excel at...if nothing else...at least I've succeeded at the cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness thang-->notice I said Thang) ...amateur writer who struggles with security, competency, and capability issues, not to mention...finding the time to write and avoiding dangling modifiers (I definitely had to edit one sentence up there that sounded like I was selling chicken and duck eggs along with my children)...and many other hats that aren't worth listing, my last hat is who I really am under all the fluff. It's the hat that really defines me. I don't think many people know who they really are. They don't know the hat that really defines them. But I do. It's holey, its worn, its the opposite of everything you think it should be, it's been with me since I was 19 and selfish and proud and mean-turned-redeemed. It has stuck with me when I was self-righteous and judgemental and when I didn't deserve to wear it. It hung topsy-turvey, holding on by a thread, when I was heart-broken and desperate for real love and acceptance. When everything else was stripped from me, and I had nothing left to cover the humiliation and nakedness of a raw heart, I wore it because it was all I had left to wear. Even when I had to pin it, to keep it in place, this hat convinced me to keep it on; that it was worth it. When I went through circumstances that would cause most to throw this hat in the air and high-tail it outta there, this hat promised me it would never forsake me, so I didn't forsake it. This hat has seen nights of depression and desperate fighting down in the muck, for my place and purpose...valleys of disappointment, betrayal, confusion, cuss words in my journal, teardrops on the pillow... This hat has been to the mountains of promises fulfilled many times over, blessings bestowed on my undeserving life, the sewing and binding up of a wounded heart, extreme victories over captive, pet, and even non-conscious sins brought to the light. This hat is the real me. This is the hat that Christ himself gave me to wear. The other hats I chose to wear. This hat I chose, but it was also chosen for me in some weird, predestined, theological, way that I can't explain. There's this balance between laying your whole life down and giving up everything, but at the same time taking up something that's being freely given and placing it on your head and the only reason you are wearing it is because Christ chose to put it right there in your path. Christ predestined my path and where it would lead and he placed that hat there for me to find, and there in the slum of life, in the dirt of a twisted trail, I desperately gave up everything (just like I do to this very day), and I chose to place that hat on my head. I choose this hat everyday, but it also chose me. And it's white....Good thing.

Day 4 of Thanksgiving ~ Thankful for 'Maids'

Thankful for 'Maids' Proverbs 31: 13-15 I'm probably not the first woman to read Proverbs 31 and say, "Well, she had servants and that's how she got all that work done". It's true that many biblical women had maid-servants and the woman portrayed in Proverbs 31 was of high social position, but what many people might not realize, is that Proverbs 31 may be describing more than one woman. The Life Application Bible states "that she may be a composite portrait of ideal womanhood". None of us can do everything listed in Proverbs 31. For instance, I enjoy writing and organizing (two things not directly stated in Proverbs 31), but I am not a good seamstress, nor can I knit. I think a good premise to stand on, is the belief that we become Proverbs 31 women, when we do the best we can with our time, talents, and the gifts that God gives us. The verses I want to take a look at seem very ordinary, but if you stop to put a modern spin on them, you will see that you work just as hard as she does and you have a lot to be thankful for. Here is a very small portion of Proverbs 31 to look at: "She looks for wool and flax and works with her hands in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens." (Proverbs 31:13-15 NASB) Have you ever been clothes shopping with your children? It's insane. Just as this woman looked for wool and flax to make yarn with, we get everyone ready to go (just this in itself can be crazy), get through traffic, change a diaper, nurse an infant, head into the store, try to find stuff on sale (that's never on sale, on the day that you're there), find the correct sizes, deal with boys hiding in clothes racks and groaning in the bra section, take the potty-training toddler to the bathroom where he is afraid of the toilet and won't pee, wish your oldest child was old enough to babysit as you look longingly at the shoe and handbag racks but pass them as quickly as possible to avoid temptation, checkout and usually spend more than you wanted to (but your heart was good and in the right place; it just didn't work out), head home completely exhausted, and realize that what used to be fun is seriously A LOT of work, now! But if you think about it, we have modern-day servants (called vehicles, shopping carts, and conveyor belts) that make shopping much easier than in biblical times when they went to the market on a daily basis. This woman worked with her hands in delight. I love that phrase. It's one of my favorites in Proverbs 31. Do you do your laundry, dishes, and chores with delight? Because just like those women had maidservants in biblical times, so do we. They are called the washing machine, dryer, dishwasher, vacuum, etc. They make our lives easier. So while we may not have household servants making the workload easier, these modern day appliances are essentially, "extra hands", that we need to be thankful for. I don't always take delight in my household chores. I'm usually worried about the next thing that needs done. I'm writing this for myself, as much as anyone else. I want to work with my hands in delight, just like she did. This lady was compared to a ship who brought her food from afar. I definitely feel like I'm in a ship when I go grocery shopping. It is an all day affair for us, and then we usually have to do schoolwork along the way, and when we get home. It's another day that makes me exhausted but I'm thankful again that I have a vehicle that's big enough to enable me to only have to shop every two weeks. We have a refrigerator, as well, that enables us to go longer between shopping, than the Proverbs 31 lady, could. She rises while it is still night and prepares food for her household. If Proverbs 31 is about one woman, I doubt she had an infant that kept her up during the night, and if she did, most biblical women of high social status had nursemaids, which actually breastfed the babies. When I don't have a nursing baby I do get up while it's still night, and make breakfast, and pack lunches. Not all of us can do that, but I think in the heart of every woman is the desire to do so. Our motive and heart's desire is what God sees; not if we sleep while the toddler (who is normally up at 6am) and the infant sleep a little later than usual. The point of that statement in verse 15, I think, is that we not be lazy, but instead work diligently to provide for our household. We can thank God for the seasons when we are up a lot during the night, with babies. We can thank him for ANY sleep we do get, during these seasons. We can thank God and bless his name when we don't have any babies, we sleep more during the night, and we are able to get up earlier. How my heart longs for the days when I can return to my early mornings, again. I miss that time with my husband and with the Lord. The last sentence in verse 15 states that the Proverbs 31 woman gives portions to her maidens. We don't have any maidservants. Some of us have daughters but I would hate for you to view any of your children in this light. Children should help around the house; they are a vital part of any household that functions well, but never should they be seen as your servant. How can we view this last portion of the verse, in a modern yet biblical way, then? I'll tell you how I view it. You remember that our vehicle, our appliances, and our modern inventions are essentially 'extra hands'? They are almost like maids, for us. Thus, I think that providing care and stewardship for them, should be a part of any modern-day Proverbs 31 woman. We are called to steward all gifts from God wisely. We need to treat these gifts as if we are thankful for them. We can keep them clean, sparkling, and in good working order. We can budget for oil changes, car washes, filters, etc. We can teach our children to care about things and not destroy them. This, if anything, grows gratitude in children, for property of their own and others. I need some help in this area. I see going to the car wash as "driving in the rain"! If something has wheels or a motor, or both, I will find a way to ruin it. Thankfully, (and I am seriously thankful) I met and married an engine mechanic who can fix literally anything! :) At least God knows I am thankful for my husband, and that my motives are pure when it comes to things with motors. He knows I just lack sense. In conclusion, can you begin to see modern inventions comparable to biblical servants? Can you begin to be thankful for these "extra hands"? Nothing fosters this more, than doing without for awhile, which we have done a time or two. If you have never done without, try to imagine what it would be like. Today, let's be grateful for the modern things we take for granted! God bless!

Day 3 of Thanksgiving ~ Thanksgiving during the Night Watches

Thanksgiving during the Night Watches Psalm 119: 62,148 If you are a mom (especially a young mom), or you have trouble sleeping, then you know how it feels to be awakened several times during the night. It's easy to become bitter about losing sleep, compare yourself to others who *appear* to have gotten more sleep than you did, and to become accustomed to dreading the night time. With our first three babies, I hated being woken up. I did everything I could to ensure that that baby would sleep through the night, as early as possible. If the baby woke up, I got him or her back to sleep as quickly as possible, and with an aggravated sigh of relief, I went back to bed. This was especially true with the first two. I had started to loosen up with the third baby, but I still did not see being woken up, as a good thing. I'm sure a lot of moms can relate to this. It wasn't until I couldn't have any more babies, that I looked back and regretted my attitude toward night wakings. During the five year period, when we couldn't have any more babies, I came across Psalm 119:148: ("My eyes anticipate the night watches, That I may meditate on Your word."). I was grieved that I had missed out on the blessings that God may have had for me when our first three babies were little. The word 'anticipate' really stood out to me. I realized my attitude was completely wrong and selfish and that I had never anticipated the time I could have spent with God and my baby, during the night. I could have snuggled my baby, rocked him or her with joy, prayed, read my bible, meditated on scripture, or just enjoyed the smell of my newborn. I felt God speak to me over and over about this verse, until I longed for another chance for a re-do. When we got that chance and little Quintin was born, everything was different. My whole outlook and attitude was different, and so was the baby. If God had not prepared me with that verse, and changed my attitude, I would not have been able to survive the challenges that Quintin brought. The child would not nurse. The child didn't want any bodily contact aside from bare minimum care. I finally found a tiny bottle with a tiny nipple (my friend recommended I look for one). I pumped for weeks, used that tiny bottle, and slowly got Quintin used to being near me by using skin to skin contact a little at a time, at night. He finally started nursing full time at 5-6 weeks (and somehow I never had to give him formula) and he nursed happily for 16 months. No mom wants the added stress of pumping at night (for the next feeding), plus all of the normal sleep deprivation of a newborn, but I did it, and I look back and can honestly say, I handled it with grace and joy. Yes, I complained a little, and yes it was difficult, but I hung in there. I asked people a lot of questions and I learned from the experience. I'm sure someday I will be able to help someone else. When Quintin finally switched to full-time nursing, I was even more grateful than I was before, because I could nurse him at night and not have to get up to pump. I snuggled him, and rocked him, and I loved being up with him. It was the sweetest time of my life. When Isaiah was born, little did I know, I was in for an opposite challenge. He nursed from the time he came out of the womb :), but he wanted to be as close to anyone as he possible could. I can hardly stand co-sleeping, and I've never really supported it. We don't let our kids in our bed. I've always seen our bed as a sanctuary of rest and relaxation, communion and connection. No kids allowed! But Isaiah challenged me on this for the first 12 weeks and now I'm not so judgmental of couples who allow kids in their beds! I slowly transitioned Isaiah into sleeping in his own bed and he loves his bed, now, but he'd happily sleep with me all night if I let him. Those first 12 weeks were so hard, and I did complain, but I also look back and I know I had a different attitude about it. I remember saying, "He just needs time". Last week, I was up with him 5 times one night, due to teething. In the morning he had his new tooth, and I was tired but there was no bitterness towards being woken up. I've come so far! I would like to blame coffee as the culprit of my changed attitude, as I didn't drink coffee with our first three babies, and maybe it has a little to do with it, but I can honestly say that God changed my perspective. Let this verse soak into your spirit, too: "At midnight I shall rise to give thanks to You Because of Your righteous ordinances."(Psalms 119:62 NASB) God is Lord of the day, and we clearly and purposefully allow him to be. What I'm suggesting to you, is that you allow him to be Lord of your night, too. When you are up at night, learn to make it a productive time, of prayer and thanksgiving. Let it be a joyful time, where you soak in that all-too-fleeting time with your baby. None of us can do this perfectly and I'm not suggesting that I do. I can say, however, that by taking small steps in the right direction and surrendering this to God, he can slowly change your bad attitudes, into thanksgiving! God bless, and by all means, THANK God for the sleep you do get and COFFEE! <3

Perfection or Excellence

Perfection or Excellence? I'm really posty today, but I've been reading a book by Tony Evans called Kingdom Woman. It's co-authored by Crystal Evans Hurst (Priscilla Shirer's sister). She is a stay at home, homeschooling mom to five children. So far, it's been a GREAT book. Crystal is very real in her struggles, even saying about homeschooling/homemaking, and I quote, "MONDAY IS THE WORST!" (I knew I wasn't the only one and it was nice to hear it from TONY EVANS' daughter...LOL!). Anyway, one of the chapters really hit me this week. I used to be a perfectionist. But I was not excellent. The chapter talks about excellence. Perfection isn't excellence. Excellence isn't perfection. In my own words and from experience, I can tell you that perfection is tyranny. You are a tyrant and perfection is a tyrant to you. Perfection isn't home-life and it isn't fun. :(. None of this was mentioned in the book. I'm just telling you what I thought about as I digested the chapter. A few years ago I finally let the Tupperware cabinet go. Tammy laughed and Sherri laughed and James still laughs but at the time it wasn't funny to me (though it's hilarious now). Now there's another cabinet that I've really let go (the casserole dish cabinet). This doesn't mean I'm not excellent. Excellence calls into play the motivation behind why you do things. What is your attitude when you do the million things that no one will ever see or even know about, except Christ? When you fold laundry or do dishes, or make a meal for your family, do you have excellence in mind? Are you doing your best, with the best attitude possible? Are you not so prideful that you'll ask for help when you need it? Are you doing whatever it is you are doing, to glorify God, or to please man? I was a "people-pleaser" for so long and still struggle with it sometimes. There's stuff I'm not good at (decorating, sewing, arts and crafts, etc---that's just not me). Pinterest and Facebook are your enemy. Just because I love to cook (and sometimes I'm not even that great at it) doesn't mean I'm an excellent wife, and if you're not a very good cook, that you aren't an excellent wife. It comes down to, are you doing your best with the strengths God has given you? Are you trying to improve in areas that are lacking without being overly critical of yourself? Are you trying to please God or man? These are the differences between perfection and excellence. <3

Perfect Day Perspective

Perfect Day Perspective by Rachelle Phipps There is nothing in this world (no struggle, no temptation, no amount of money, recognition, or fame) that could ever tempt me to leave my post as wife and mother! God has blessed me with the absolute perfect day!!! I don't deserve it: *Reading poetry (The Highwayman--my absolute favorite) to the kids, on the porch, for school...when people in other countries can't read and enjoy books....maybe they've never even seen a book, much less had someone to teach them. * A brown haired little beauty with a fishtail braid, and a bright swimsuit, when a little girl in another country wears a man's t-shirt and searches through a dump to find scraps to eat. *Two rambunctious boys searching for illusive robins' nests...when other boys (maybe orphans) in other countries don't have time to be children because they walk miles to search for water, carrying their orphaned baby brother who carries a smeared water bottle, too.... * Seeing the warm delight in the big blue eyes of our miracle baby as he is surrounded by toy cars on the patio...when other couples are trying to conceive, or struggling to keep a pregnancy to term, while one American abortionist, is on trial for murdering 40,000 babies in his "sick" career, some of which survived abortion only to be killed after being born, with scissors.... * Needing to quickly go outside and slipping my feet into our oldest son's flip flops, thinking they won't fit, but it's like Cinderella and the glass slipper.... I fit my son's flip flops...? When did this happen...? And why do we get the privilege of raising him for almost ten years, so far, when people in other countries fight for their children to survive? ...Who walk miles to find medical care for the baby, only for him to die on the way there? * Shedding a happy tear when i read a sweet and caring text, from a man I love, on an iPhone that I don't deserve...relishing that text along with my coffee, which would be considered a delicacy in another country where they don't even have clean water! * Having the time to write (my absolute favorite thing in the whole world, probably) because my man works hard all day to protect our country, while Obama tries to lower military forces and funds our enemies... *Surrounded by fiery sunshine and a green carpet of grass created by a loving God...who this nation denies exists, defies with their rebellion, and turns their back on in our government and schools..... I can usually put this stuff into words but not today.... There's just nothing that compares to the freedom of being a stay at home mom, homeschooling our children, and serving a God who hears and sees and cares and saves.... I know there are women who wish they could do exactly what I do every day, and what i have grumbled about in the past. Not anymore! When things happen in your life to bring you to your knees, no one says you're going to respond perfectly in every situation...but if you learn from the struggle and you can still have a "perfect" day, amidst the trials and struggles, like I have had today, then you will know that God LIVES! You will know that he breathes his Word into your life, enabling you to weather every storm! You will know that he gives good and perfect gifts to his children exactly when they need them! You will know that He moves in the trials and wishes you'd hear him if you'd just listen and see! You will know that little things don't matter anymore, but that eternity is in the hearts of those who love Him and are committed to him! You will know that even the hardship, and heartache, and disappointments, and tragedies don't compare to your destination, and they happened to you, to bring you to the place you are, where you get the PRIVILEGE to enjoy a perfect day, when you actually deserve hell!!! Better is ONE day in God's house, than a thousand elsewhere!!!! Why can't we see God's grace in this country? Why can't we look past our trials and realize that people in other countries would love to have our struggles? If we were living every day, looking for food and water, we wouldn't have time to sin, or sit in church asking how we can stop sinning... If we lived out the Great Commission we could be considered the "Beautiful Feet" that brought the good news, to people who have never seen a Bible, and who may have never owned a pair of shoes, much less seen a closet like mine, full of them. If I went on a missions trip and wore some of the shoes I have or the blingy earrings I love so much, I'd be seen as a Princess! Beautiful feet??? Are you kidding me? Not even close! I'm not a princess. I'm selfish. Guilty as charged. Blessed beyond belief. And I sit here day in and day out crying because of my troubles, asking God why they happened to me, and forgetting that I get to breathe! ....much less have a perfect day. Maybe this isn't the perfect day, after all. My heart is suddenly filled with grief, conviction, and guilt! No. This isn't the perfect day. The perfect day would be living like the Jesus of Nazareth, that I say I follow , but care about wearing red nail polish on my toes. It would be walking into another country (barefoot like i deserve) who's never heard the gospel of Christ, and leading people to the One who fills and satisfies the soul and maybe bringing them some shoes for their soles. The perfect day would be seeing men, women, and children, calling out to God for salvation the way I did when I was 19, because I doubted stories in the Bible, that they've never even had the privilege of reading.... What is wrong with me? I came to Christ because I doubted the words in a book; The Book, that people in other countries are prohibited from owning and could be killed for possessing. The book that some people huddle around, reading by a dim candle, underground, so they don't get caught. And I'm 19, surrounded by fifteen million bibles, repenting of my sin of doubt and unbelief, of a book that people in other countries have to share and pass around. And I have like five bibles of my own, in five different versions, and I can't let go of personal grievances against me, when my Bibles tell me exactly how to do that....I'm worried about grievances against me, while I'm surrounded by my wealth and greed, and "the perfect day"....when people would think they were in heaven if they had my day. Unfortunately, they won't have anything close to "my perfect day" because they have never heard the message of Jesus Christ and will burn in hell. And the only reason they didn't hear it is because I sat in the lounge chair my husband gave me for Mother's Day a few years back, like I've sat it in ever since, and nursed my hurts, my anger, and the offenses against me, in my bright orange bikini, with a jar of clean water. With ice. "W hoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved." How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher? How will they preach unless they are sent? Just as it is written, "H ow beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news of good things !" (Romans 10:13-15 NASB)

Priorities Lived Out

Priorities Lived Out Last year, I read Elizabeth George's book entitled "A Woman After God's Own Heart. It is a book that changed my life because it helped me change my priorities and see where some of my priorities were not in order. God has always been first in my life, since I came to know Him when I was 19. My personal intimate relationship with him has been like breathing, since then. It's very needed and natural. However, somewhere along the way my intimate relationship with Him got blurred with my spiritual growth, which are two separate things entirely. "What?", you say! I know...that doesn't make sense...but I'll explain later. In Elizabeth's book, she recommends making a daily list similar to the picture above (Note: The actual picture is located in my album titled "Priorities Sheet"...I couldnt get it to upload correctly), except that she just makes a written list every day with those same headings. I loved this idea because I was starting to realize that I had been neglecting some areas in my life. Somehow, they just got pushed to the side. I tried using a list like this, daily, but it was extremely overwhelming. Remember, priorities shouldn't become burdens, but joys! Instead, I use this list weekly and it works so well in my life. I'd like to share how I've come to live with my priorities in proper perspective! In the first box you see it is titled "God". If you are a believer this relationship must come first! In this box I list some things to cultivate my relationship with the Lord. Some of the items I put in this box for the week are: prayer, journaling (where I write to the Lord about my life, problems, joys, etc), single words such as "trust" or "obey" (things i need to remind myself to do throughout the week), being quiet before the Lord where I make time to listen to Him, and devotional time of reading his Word. This is totally different from studying his Word. This is where I get LIFE from his Word. This is where I breath it in, so I can live for Him throughout the day. This is delighting in His Word. This is soaking in His power, so I can make it through trials. This is vital! This is one area that is daily for me and I encourage you to make it daily in your life, too. Without this important relationship, there is no foundation in your life and nothing to build the rest of your relationships on. * Psalm 119:140-144. "Your word is very pure, Therefore Your servant loves it. I am small and despised, Yet I do not forget Your precepts. Your righteousness is an everlasting righteousness, And Your law is truth. Trouble and anguish have come upon me, Yet Your commandments are my delight. Your testimonies are righteous forever; Give me understanding that I may live." In the second box you see it is titled "My Husband". I am writing this because I feel led to encourage women in this special area! The relationship with your husband must be your number one human relationship. This is an area that I let slide quite a bit. I think the years of being an army wife can make you very independent and sometimes you lose sight of the need to cultivate this area to the best of your ability. I almost lost my marriage. This is nothing to be ashamed of- only something to be learned from. And I firmly believe that marriages can be stronger through mistakes made, as long as the mistakes are corrected. Now don't misunderstand me...some things are just beyond your control as a wife, and have absolutely nothing to do with you as a wife or a person, a lover or a friend, BUT there are things I could have done better, the past ten years. There are things we can all do better in all of these areas. If your husband is an unbeliever, or is living in sin, that is not your fault. He makes his own choices. You didn't cause him to make his choices. On the flip side he cannot be blamed for your sin and choices. This is not the blame game and you are held responsible before the Lord, for your own responses and sin. You are still his wife, and there is much you can do to have a great marriage and it's never too late. In this category, I frequently have things such as: pray for him, send an encouraging text, date night, focus on communication, do the budget, and a variety of other things. Maybe your husband has asked you to do something he doesn't have time to do. Put that on the list. Maybe there's an area that needs severe help such as holding your tongue, walking in forgiveness, not being bitter, your critical spirit, making his meals more healthy, or your sexual relationship. Put whatever it is on the list. Keep this whole list in a special place where your husband and kids won't find it, since there might be things you want to keep a surprise or don't want your kids seeing. I usually hide my list before my husband comes home and take it out in the morning after he leaves for work. Some of the things you have on this list might be something you need to do daily or it could be something you can cross out after you've gotten it done. Most of the things on my list I try to do daily because I need to. Take this category seriously. Put your husband before yourself and be thankful for him. There is always something to be thankful for. Whatever you're going through in life, just know it could be worse!!! *Song of Solomon 3:4a." Scarcely had I left them when I found him whom my soul loves; I held onto him and would not let him go."* Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Enjoy life with the woman or man, whom you love, all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun, for this is your reward in life and in your toil, in which you have labored under the sun." The third box is entitled "My Children". It's so easy for children to become the main priority because they require so much from us. The more children you have, the harder it is to maintain proper perspective. However, children are very important. You are raising little ones for the Kingdom. You are molding little characters, lives, and hearts. This is your second most important earthly priority. If you are a homeschooling mom, it's very easy to get bogged down but we need to realize that each child needs a bit of our undivided attention. In this box I put each child's initial and one or two things I'd like to do with them that week. Remember that each of your children have a different love language and this will determine a lot of what goes on the list. Some of the things on the list will be the same for each child. One of my main desires is to be able to pray individually with each child, so I've had that on my list, recently. Zane's love language is Words of Affirmation, so a lot times my list for him includes encouragement or compliments. Abbie's language is quality time so her list usually contains cooking, playing games or playing with her dolls. Sheldon's language is physical touch, so his list usually contains a hug, kiss, or undivided eye contact and listening attentively to him. For Quintin I try to play or read to him daily. Don't let this be overwhelming! Ask the Lord to help you fill this incredibly daunting and taxing area to His liking! Remember this verse: * Psalm 127:3-4 "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, the fruit of womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth." * "See the Sovereign Lord comes with power, and he rules with a mighty arm. See, his reward is with him, and his recompense accompanies him. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young. (Isaiah 40:10, 11 NIV) The third box contains "My Home". This is an easy area for me but I know some women struggle in it. I run my home very smoothly and the children help by cleaning up their own messes. I pick up my house every night before bed so that I can clean in the morning (my secret to a clean home). The kids clean their rooms every night. I do all of my laundry everyday. I wrote a large piece on this back in the day when I had little ones who were not in school, yet. I think I'm way more relaxed than I used to be then, but you can check it out if you want. It's in my Facebook notes section, entitled "Rachelle's Secrets to a Clean Home", I think. On my list I don't put the daily things. I only list extra things I'd like to get done that week or projects I'd like to work on. The Lord wants your home to be an expression of Him. It should be clean, orderly, comfortable, inviting, and a haven of rest! Your husband should be able to come home to this type of environment after he has worked hard all day to provide for his family. Children should be able to invite friends over, unashamedly. It should be a place your children have fond memories of and love coming back to after they are grown. It should be a place where visitors feel comfortable and cared for. *Proverbs 31:10-31. I won't list this passage, as we are probably all aware of what it says. If not, I encourage you to read it and discover what God desires a virtuous woman to look like. * Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." You see that after all of these categories I have in the fifth box, "My Spiritual Growth". After I feel that I have put enough emphasis on the prior four areas (not finished everything on the list, but have made an effort that I feel comfortable with), then do I allow myself to pursue learning, reading, and studying. This is different than building your intimate relationship with Christ. This is developing your understanding of God's Word. In this box I frequently have books I am currently reading and want to finish, areas or topics in the bible I want to study, Sunday School material I want to work through, our current counseling course work, or articles I want to read. If you are in college, you may need this box to entitle "My Spiritual Growth/College. Whatever your life is requiring right now, but do have an area for your spiritual education! If I am not careful, I will blur this area with priority number one and ignore prayer and communion with the Lord. So, just be careful here...reading a book does not count as quiet time with the Lord. * " My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones. Then you will understand what is right and just and fair—every good path. For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you." (Proverbs 2:1-11 NIV) After this, you are ready for ministry! If you have spent sufficient time cultivating these areas, you have a great foundation for box number six, "My Ministries". My ministry will look different than yours but in this box I usually have: my awana lesson, homeschool co-op lessons, or random things I feel The Lord leading me to do, such as ministering to particular women, shooting a text to someone who needs encouragement, discipling people, or having people over for dinner. Enjoy filling up this box! God made you for ministry! * Isaiah 52:7 "How lovely on the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who announces peace and brings good news of happiness, who announces salvation and says to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Box number seven is "My Friends". A hard area in my life is friendship. I have a very hard time cultivating friendships and pursuing activities with my friends. Though I minister with and see my friends often, it's hard to make time for one-on-one time with them. Its even hard to have time for group activities. It's something I want to work harder on but don't have a lot of ideas for. Sadly, this box is frequently empty, aside from responding to emails, making phone calls, and sending texts to keep in touch. It's just not a strong area in my life. The Bible talks so much about the importance of friendship, even calling believers, "His friends", so we must make time for community and healthy, blossoming, productive friendships! *John 15:15 "No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you." * Proverbs 17:17 "A friend loves at all times and a brother is born for adversity." The last box, but definitely not the least is the "Me" box. Make time for yourself! You need times throughout the week for refreshment, or to do things you might want to do. I'll admit; I rarely get anything done on this list. Some recent things on this list are: organize recipes and photos, and scrap-booking. There are things I do daily for myself that I don't put on the list, though. I like to wear earrings and put on a little makeup even if I'm not going out, that day. It's nice to feel beautiful throughout the day and look nice for my husband when he gets home. And no matter how many kids I have, I will never give up my hot bath every night! ;). Your list will look different than mine, just make sure you do something for yourself. Make sure the children know that it's your time and not to bother you! And remember, it's your time but its not about you. Dwell on The Lord and his goodness through all these priorities. You are living and breathing because God allows you to! Remember to thank him for the moments you get for yourself! * "Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward. Furthermore, as for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, He has also empowered him to eat from them and to receive his reward and rejoice in his labor; this is the gift of God. For he will not often consider the years of his life, because God keeps him occupied with the gladness of his heart. "(Ecclesiastes 5:18-20 NASB) I usually make my list on Monday morning. Pick a day that's good for you and don't overfill. List only what you think you can do but enough to challenge you and help you change. Realize that a lot of these categories interweave. I might be sitting down nursing the baby, while I read a chapter in a book, the children are doing chores I have directed them to do, laundry is going in the other room, I send a text to a friend or my husband real quick, and I'm drinking a cup of coffee! :) A lot of it is multi-tasking, but being aware of my surroundings and my list at the same time. Let it interweave, but make sure you are mentally keeping the list of priorities in order. I pray this post is helpful for you in living out proper priorities, with the proper perspectives. I know for me, God has done a major overhaul in this area of my life. I'm not ashamed of this fact. When a car engine needs an overhaul, it is because it has worked hard, done many things, and needs new parts. It is the same with our lives. If you are tired it is a good sign that you have been working hard. We get tired and need help. We need a new perspective. We need fresh revelation from God. After a needed overhaul we are ready to move forward and minister to our husbands, children, friends, and world. Remember to have grace for yourself. You can't do everything but do try to do what God has told you to do. You will make mistakes in this life. Learn from your mistakes and go on. I love this promise from God. * “Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left; your descendants will dispossess nations and settle in their desolate cities. “Afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will rebuild you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with lapis lazuli. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones. All your children will be taught by the Lord , and great will be their peace. In righteousness you will be established. (Isaiah 54:2, 3, 11-14a NIV) Make sure you are using those costly materials listed in the above passage from Isaiah, for your foundation. Make sure that what you are building with is precious in the sight of God. And remember that you, a virtuous woman, are far more precious than rubies. Act like who God says you are! Don't settle for anything less! God bless you in your journey, as you live out your priorities! Let's let the Lord have the last word! "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31:10, 29-31 NIV)