Hats

HATS by Rachelle Phipps

When you see me in town, then hear about things I do at home, well, it creates a lot of mystery. I kill opossums under my chicken coop one day, holding them up for the world to see on Facebook, and then show up in heels and skinny jeans the next. I'm really not who I seem to be, because I have to wear a lot of hats. I'm wearing the hat of an army wife and have been for over a decade, so I have to be resourceful and resilient and forgiving and sexy (more on that later) all at the same time. I say sexy, because that's how I maintain my sanity and it's a survival mechanism for feeling like I have it all together (plus I believe we should be good-looking for our men -more on that later). The more I look put-together and fashionable, the more you can bet, that it has been a stressful day and I honestly took 18 minutes to do something for myself, for once... As an army wife, my other survival mechanism is ferociously cleaning two days prior to my husband leaving and for a week after he leaves. I've come to realize it's the only thing I feel I have control over in this lifestyle.


I wear the hat of a veteran homeschooling mom and that one is quite puzzling. I'm never sure exactly how I feel about it because some days are amazing and grace-filled and perfect, and some days it feels like a Wild West show in which I created the performers. It's worth it though, especially on the days that I internalize the fact that my five kids are learning more than just academics, but life skills, ability to interact with any age, and a great work ethic (yes, I know they can learn those things in public school too, but let me just have this moment). Mostly, I'm just happy that I get to spend my whole day with them. Honest truth. ‪#‎phippsfamilyhomeschool‬



Speaking of the five children (and maybe more in the future), that's my other hat. I wear the hat of mom to a tribe of quirky kids who detest the questions I get from strangers: "don't you know how that happens?" or the questions they get from strangers: "Is that your sister or your mom?", (speaking of me) and "Why aren't you at school?" I like this hat though; I always wanted 6 or 8 kids and God's been good to us. Being a mom is fantastic work and I can honestly say I love every moment of it. Really. I was only supposed to be the mom of three but now I get to be the mom of five so I cherish every part...every season...every day. ‪#‎soblessed‬


My other hat should be labeled "network marketing enthusiast", because seriously, I wish I could join them all! I dabbled around in two network marketing companies before I found "my people" and "my thang". Yes I said thang, not thing...a thing is something you just do because you have to...a thang is something you're passionate about and good at. So I do my thang and love every minute of it. It's not going away any time soon!! ‪#‎plexusforlife‬
Another hat I wear is "small farm owner" but the farm seems really big when I'm trying to take care of it by myself. This is the hat covered in grass from weed-eating, dirt from gardening, and horse hair from riding bareback on the mare that I've owned since I was 10...I don't like to ride other horses; just her. The kids and I sell chicken and duck eggs on Sunday. Chickens have always been a passion of mine but owning ducks has turned out to be my niche so the "duck-girl" hat isn't getting discarded any time soon, either. There's too much to mention with this farm-woman hat. It encompasses my life...hence the reason I feel the need to dress up, even to church and Awana, or the grocery store. I'm a hillbilly bum, the rest of the time, so that's my only time to feel like a lady! ‪#‎hillbillycharm‬ ‪#‎kybluegrassgirl‬ ‪#‎thatduckgirl‬



One hat that confuses the hell out of me is my "Lover" hat. I'm a wife to someone who is incompatible with me but completes me in every way. Later you'll hear about a hat that is the epitome of antithesis (you know...the opposite of what you would think) and this one is like that hat, except I call it the epitome of contradiction. Everything I am that is good and worthwhile is not what he is. Everything in me that I am terrible or useless at, he excels at. Everything in him that is wonderful and true and pure, I am not even close to being. Everything in him that is undesirable, and worthless, I have an easier time with. Marriage was not created to make you happy. It was created to make you holy and IT WILL, IF YOU LET IT. The marriage hat is the hat I could pull my hair out along with, but I don't. To me, the marriage hat is as serious as the next one I'll be talking about. The commitment hat is what this marriage hat should be called...not always...but always when it can be. It should be sexy too, when it can be. Not always, but when it can be. Not when you're pushing an 8-pound human being into the world, but all other times. Sexy and committed. That's what I try to be. I think those two things will have you covered. You're not going anywhere and you look amazing where you're not going. Done deal. I need a hashtag for this area of my life...how about ‪#‎sexyandstaying‬ Cooking is important too, but I learned the hard way that it's not the most important. Sexy while cooking is snazzy though. Just don't fry bacon naked.



Besides all that I've mentioned and the ones I don't have time to mention, like: sister to three amazing people...friend to many (though I seriously suck at this one)... lover of all things Dwight Yoakam (most of my life- goals revolve around something to do with Dwight ‪#‎timedontmattertome‬ or the TV show LOST)...daughter of two fine people... hater of Pinterest (seriously, I hate Pinterest)... housekeeper (if you know me, this is one thing I do excel at...if nothing else...at least I've succeeded at the cleanliness-is-next-to-godliness thang-->notice I said Thang) ...amateur writer who struggles with security, competency, and capability issues, not to mention...finding the time to write and avoiding dangling modifiers (I definitely had to edit one sentence up there that sounded like I was selling chicken and duck eggs along with my children)...and many other hats that aren't worth listing, my last hat is who I really am under all the fluff. It's the hat that really defines me. I don't think many people know who they really are. They don't know the hat that really defines them. But I do. It's holey, its worn, its the opposite of everything you think it should be, it's been with me since I was 19 and selfish and proud and mean-turned-redeemed. It has stuck with me when I was self-righteous and judgemental and when I didn't deserve to wear it. It hung topsy-turvey, holding on by a thread, when I was heart-broken and desperate for real love and acceptance. When everything else was stripped from me, and I had nothing left to cover the humiliation and nakedness of a raw heart, I wore it because it was all I had left to wear. Even when I had to pin it, to keep it in place, this hat convinced me to keep it on; that it was worth it. When I went through circumstances that would cause most to throw this hat in the air and high-tail it outta there, this hat promised me it would never forsake me, so I didn't forsake it. This hat has seen nights of depression and desperate fighting down in the muck, for my place and purpose...valleys of disappointment, betrayal, confusion, cuss words in my journal, teardrops on the pillow... This hat has been to the mountains of promises fulfilled many times over, blessings bestowed on my undeserving life, the sewing and binding up of a wounded heart, extreme victories over captive, pet, and even non-conscious sins brought to the light. This hat is the real me. This is the hat that Christ himself gave me to wear. The other hats I chose to wear. This hat I chose, but it was also chosen for me in some weird, predestined, theological, way that I can't explain. There's this balance between laying your whole life down and giving up everything, but at the same time taking up something that's being freely given and placing it on your head and the only reason you are wearing it is because Christ chose to put it right there in your path. Christ predestined my path and where it would lead and he placed that hat there for me to find, and there in the slum of life, in the dirt of a twisted trail, I desperately gave up everything (just like I do to this very day), and I chose to place that hat on my head. I choose this hat everyday, but it also chose me. And it's white....Good thing.

Valentines Day All Month ~ Day 10 ~ The Hard Workers and the Appreciative Ones (and Other Things People Don't Want to Hear)

February 10, 2014 · Valentines Day All Month ~ Day 10 ~ The Hard Workers and the Appreciative Ones (and Other Things People Don't Want to Hear) It's the stress I know nothing about, that happens from 6am to usually 6pm...the early mornings that he's had more of than I have....the sunrises he's seen that I haven't because I'm in bed feeding, whichever of the five newborns it was at the time....starting the truck in the cold while I'm snuggled under a goosedown with a baby with downy hair....him having to go to work even when he's sick....putting in the long hours and putting up with the demands of soldiering. All things I know nothing about. Yes, I work hard at home. When I don't have a newborn I am up at the same time as him, making his breakfast and packing his lunch but I have the luxury of resting at home when I need to and the relaxation of drinking my coffee on the couch if I've gotten up early enough to beat the children. I do work hard, but it isn't the same. I am not met with the same challenge and struggle that a man faces in providing for a family. With Adam's curse, the husband received the challenge and struggle of laboring in a fallen world, dealing with the thorns of fallen people, the weeds of fallen superiors, the rocks of fallen organizations. I know it's very hard. But I don't know it intimately. I'm not acquainted with it, because I haven't had to work outside the home. I will never be able to adequately show my appreciation to my husband, but I try. If I worked we *might* be out of debt, faster, but likely not. The money we save by me staying home, plus the blessings it creates, probably would outweigh anything I would contribute by working. With extra gas, food, and childcare expenses, I probably wouldn't make enough to make much difference, but I would add stress to our home life, and the lives of our children. For this reason, I try to live my life joyfully under the Curse of Eve (Genesis 3) which states, "...and your desire will be towards your husband and he will rule over you". Somewhere in us women, is an inner battle of will, which is there because of Eve. Our desire is towards our husbands but it's not a good desire. We desire to rule over him, but this is not God's way. God's way is for the husband to rule over his wife. Thankfully, Jesus Christ relieved much of the oppression over women of the past. In fact, even before Christ, Israel was the most enlightened nation where women were concerned, and most Israelite women had it much easier than women in surrounding nations. This, I like to think, was a foreshadowing of Christ, and likely a draw for women like Ruth and Rahab! Now, because of Christ our savior, and New Testament grace, us women have it much easier. Men are commanded to love their wives but we are not let off the hook. We are still called to submit to and respect our husbands. The husband faces the same inner battle, tempting him to go against his curse. He naturally desires to be lazy, and passive towards his wife. If he will desire to live joyfully under his curse, he will find the beauty in his curse. He will seek to master his laziness and passivity, and add obedience to his New Testament command to love his wife, and he will find a great harmony. A beautiful circle begins to form. The man works hard to provide, and he leads and loves his wife, adequately. The woman seeks to submit to her husband, and respect to him and his authority. When both seek to simultaneously live out marriage God's way, a peace is created. If either one or both of them, do not live out God's design, there is struggle, strife, pain, and hardship. If both husband and wife cannot, or do not, simultaneously obey, then one of them must begin the circle somewhere and take on the challenge of living rightly under his or her curse. You may have to live a long time doing the right thing before you get to see any results. Maybe you will never get results, but you will be rewarded greatly in heaven for your obedience to your Heavenly Father. If you do have a hardworking husband but he doesn't know how to love, then I would suggest to you, to be equally hardworking in two ways. Number one: work equally hard in your home. Make his home a haven of rest to come home to, not a chaotic place where the children and dog have reeked havoc. Let the house be a mess during the day, but be sure it's clean when he gets home. Make your best attempt at having a nourishing, healthy, and hearty meal waiting for him. Try to have yourself and your kids cleaned up by the time he gets home. I'm not suggesting these things for any other reason, except for the simple fact that he has worked hard in a stressful environment and probably doesn't desire to come home to a worse environment. If he is hardworking but comes home to a place where it *appears* that you've done nothing ----now I know you've not done nothing, but he may not know this---- it may cause some bitterness to form in him. He may feel you are not his teammate in life, or that you are lazy all day, while he has been working hard for you and the children. Maybe you are lazy, so if the shoe fits, I'm sorry. :/ Trust me: if you will seek to fulfill number one, EVENTUALLY your husband will see the jewel he has taken for granted all these years. Don't give up! Number two: be equally hard-working in showing your appreciation for his hard work. What this looks like exactly, will depend on the person your husband is. Whatever his love language is, is what will show him you appreciate and love him. It will either be: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Receiving Gifts, or Acts of Service. And I will tell you, almost 100% of the time, his love language will not be your love language. I made a five-year mistake of loving my husband with my love language. I simply didn't know he didn't feel love the same way that I did. What I thought would make him feel loved, had no effect on him. The other five years I spent trying to figure out what his love language was, because he didn't know either (pretty common), and also by then, it was a little too late. His love tank was depleted. Mine was depleted. Both of us were bitter towards one another. Neither of us really felt loved by the other. This was the crack that almost ruined our marriage. So work hard to show your love and appreciation to your hardworking man! And just a side-note....his love language will almost always be the one you least want to do. I think God plans it this way and probably laughs a little when he puts husbands and wives together with their "work cut out for them". :) To come full circle with this for men and for women: seek to balance the negative effects of your curse with the positive commands in the New Testament, and live joyfully under both because neither one are changing anytime soon. For men: working is hard, not being lazy is hard, not being passive is hard and loving a woman like Christ loves her is hard. For women: bearing children is hard, keeping the home is hard, submitting to your husband is hard, and respecting your husband is hard. All are very satisfying and fulfilling, when taken seriously and cultivated properly. Anytime God commands something, it is for our ultimate good, these commands included! When both spouses learn to do these things very well and ALSO show appreciation when the other one does them, a peace and tranquility can be your new norm! <3 Just for fun: http://youtu.be/N5E34pxzPlQ

Day 28 of Thankfulness ~ What the Army Taught Me

Day 28: What the Army Taught Me-from childhood until now- And Why I'm Thankful for It Seems like a weird day (Thanksgiving Day), to be thankful for what the Army has taught me, but when you think about it, it's really not weird. If you are a military family, you know exactly why today is a great day to be thankful for the military and what it has taught you. There are many, many reasons why, but at the top of our lists, it's probably something to do with "never taking anything for granted, because it (whatever it is) could be gone tomorrow". Here is a list of what the Army has taught me, from childhood until now! This is why I'm thankful for this type of life. These hard lessons learned: 1) The life of an Army family is an adventure and should be treated as such, if you want to maintain any level of sanity. ;) Help children to get through the storminess, without being stormy, yourself. Because ultimately, there are orders in your husband's hands that are signed by the Army, but ordained by God. There is a reason why you have to go where you are going. Teach yourself and your children to anticipate what God will do, at this new duty station. Look for his hand. SEE his mighty works!!! 2) Make friends with every person you come in contact with, especially neighbors and church family. You do not know what treasure these precious people have for you, your husband, or your children. I'm not saying you will "click" with everyone. Not at all. I'm saying, you need to try, because that person is probably there for a reason! Don't wait until you've lived somewhere for 2 years and finally feel settled in and ready to make friends. You will regret it, when a year later, you have to say goodbye. 3) Facebook is awesome for keeping in touch with the sheer amount of these people that God brings into your life, via the military. I'm so thankful that Facebook has made it a lot easier to stay connected, because there is absolutely no way I'd have time to write, email, or call all of these wonderful people! <3 4) Race, ethnicity, culture, and background should make absolutely no determination of friendship, value, importance, or worth. No racism, or prejudice should be allowed in your home! I went to school with all races, and loved it. I'm so thankful that the Army made people "all the same" in my eyes!!! I would have missed out on many blessings!!! Don't miss out on these!!! This is so important! <3 5) ABSENCE DOES NOT MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER!!! It is quite the opposite. Deployments, hardship tours, and even short TDY makes you independent, too strong for your own good, causes breaks and gaps in communication, and causes cracks in the marriage relationship! Bad cracks!!! Satan uses these cracks to wreak havoc. Divorce, drug abuse, and suicide, are high in the military. Don't naively think that your marriage will last because you love each other. TAKE GREAT MEASURES to communicate, not be so independent, and share weakness with your spouse. Communicate the best you can. I know it's hard but it's worth it. I learned this lesson much later than I should have. I thought being the strong, independent, Army wife, who can handle anything, was somehow a good thing. God showed me it's not at all. 6). Ask for help when you need it. There will be times that you have a newborn baby and your husband leaves. There might be times when he misses the birth of his child. You can't do it alone. You CAN, but it's not a pretty outcome, or healthy for anyone. Ask for help!!! 7) Make EVERY holiday and birthday a huge deal because there will be times that your husband will have to miss something. If possible have Thanksgiving and Christmas in October if he's leaving! Plan ahead to celebrate a birthday or anniversary early, if he will be gone for one of them. 8) Become the best cook you can be! You don't have to be a gourmet cook but you need to know how to cook, so you are blessing to your husband! ;) He's been deployed and eating in the mess hall (or worse), in the field eating MREs, or TDY eating restaurant or fast food. The last thing he wants is food from a box! :). *SIDE NOTE: Husband, you will have to endure one more meal at a restaurant, sometime soon after your arrival home!! :). The last thing she wants to actually do, is cook and do dishes! <3 9) Build intimacy in all areas. This goes along with #5, but deeper. Use your imagination. ;) 10) Rely on God, not yourself. He ordained this life for you, he KNOWS every detail of what has happened, what is happening, and what will happen. All you have to do is walk in what he has planned/allowed to happen, in a manner worthy, of him. Don't take your eyes off Him, no matter what!!! NO MATTER WHAT! Don't quit!!! "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10 ESV)" There's so much more I could write! These are just off the top of my head! Feel free to add to them, in the comments!

Day 27 of Thankfulness ~ My Husband

Day 27: My Husband Yesterday I thanked God for marriage. Especially for the patience God has had for me and for my man, in our marriage, but today I want to specifically tell you why I'm thankful for James! For as long as I have known him, he has always been the most gentle person I know. He is especially gentle and loving with children, especially his own. The children love their father and rush to meet him when he arrives home, Quintin with his arms stretched as high above him as possible, trying to be the "first" one noticed, picked up, hugged, and kissed. My husband always kisses them and hugs them, and that says a lot for a man. A lot of men aren't that way and could care less. I don't think it would matter if we had one child, or ten... He would have a hug, or kiss, or word for each of them, upon his arrival home. He tells them he loves them, most everyday...another thing some men just don't do. He takes them with him when he goes places, always spoiling them with milkshakes, a toy, or candy. He teaches them life skills, hard work, and gentleness towards women, animals, and children. He has a soft heart for children. He's a great dad! I wouldn't want anyone else to be their dad. Let's just say, I'd have ten kids with him, just because he's always been a man I could trust with children, and he's the exact dad I would want to have. He's not a perfect dad, and hasn't been perfect, but neither have I been a perfect mom! :) I have always trusted his provision. He is a great provider, and would sacrifice anything to buy me something I happened to want! He would work three or four jobs before he EVER would allow me to work. He knows how hard I work everyday, here. He knows that if I worked, it wouldn't add much to our income, with childcare expenses, gas, and food. Most men are VERY naive in this area and push their wives to work because they think it will add to the income, but usually, it really doesn't. Plus, even if we did have some profit, we would lose things we don't want to lose (seeing our kids grow up, home cooked meals where we all sit at the table together, being able to be in ministry, but mostly...being able to homeschool)! My husband is very talented. He can fix anything, he's a great horseshoer, a hard worker; he can do anything, really. He is a fast thinker when it comes to doing something under pressure. He's a fast decision maker (sometimes to his detriment, but lots of times to his or our advantage). I know that I can trust him to fix anything, especially if it has wheels (which in have usually broken--lol!). He's not lazy, and even if it takes some time for him to get to something, eventually it will get done. I would rather have him hugging and holding kids than always fixing stuff, right away, anyway! He's pretty patient with me. I BREAK EVERYTHING! I lose stuff or forget something and he never seems to care, really. It might irritate him for a moment, but I can TRUST that if I do something, he's not going to go off on me. That's huge for me, because I'm a scatterbrain!!! I don't think through things very well, sometimes, so I make bad decisions, that usually cost money. Lol. He's awesome in this way. I like to keep the house and yard really clean (it's hard recently with the home remodeling and slow process of moving in) but I can tell you, that if I was a slob, or let something go 'a little too long' there would be absolutely NO mention of it. If I let my eyebrows go a little too long (which I would never do. Lol), there would be NO mention of it. Now if I was unhealthy and overweight, there'd be some mention of that because that's kind of a pet peeve of his, but he would still love me and be an encouragement, not a critic. He's never critical of me, and has never said mean things about me or to me. Now, he might be a little "unobservant" but that's where I get away with not shaving everyday. Lol! He might get a little mad at me for something I did or said, but he is over it FAST! He 'buries the hatchet' pretty well, which I'm awful at. :) He's really handsome, to me! :) <3 He's made a lot of mistakes...some he didn't learn from until later, but he keeps going. He doesn't quit. I can trust that he isn't going anywhere. That's HUGE for me!!! I've made a lot of mistakes, some I didn't learn from until later, but I don't quit either. I can trust that he'd not give up on me, no matter what I ever did. That's HUGE for me!!! He's a fun person. I'm kind of boring ! :). So we compliment each other, well! There's so much I could say!!! There's some I can't say about him but the point is, he's not perfect. He struggles like all of us do. And he has struggled with God, himself, his past, but is coming out stronger for it! Most of all, I know that he loves The Lord! He is learning more about Him, and that won't ever change! I love my husband and I am thankful for him! He has taught me a lot; lots of things I wouldn't have learned without him. He's perfect for me because where I am strong, he is weak and where he is strong, I am weak!! And neither of us are quitters! That's the perfect recipe for a marriage that will endure!!! <3

God's Love Story, Not Theirs ~ Day 26

This is a narrative, I wrote yesterday, for Day 26 of Thankfulness. Sometimes there are just not adequate, first-person words to describe why you are thankful for something. Or, there are too many dimensions to the story, that it's just impossible to relay it the way you want to. This story is real. It is gritty. It is grace-filled. One thing that it is not, is finished. If there is one thing in our marriage that I am so very thankful for, it is God's patience with both of us! I hope this story blesses you and gives you hope, when you feel there is none to be had! Happy Day 26 of thankfulness! Love Rachelle God's Love Story; Not Theirs Day 26: Marriage Once upon a time there was a little girl, 12 years old, scrawny, awkward, and not popular at all. Always going against the tide. Always different. Never really fitting into the mold. Her theme song could have been, and is today, and will always be: "Outcast" by: Kerrie Roberts http://youtu.be/FfJ2-N5EGRY She sat in a DOD middle school, sex education classroom, and endured the snickering and annoyed sighs of the other kids, as she raised her hand and answered the question, "What is the best way to not get pregnant?" with "Abstinence". She didn't care. She never has. She never will. In the same classroom sat a 12 year old boy, only 19 days older than her. He was scrawny, the new kid, awkward, too, but a little more popular. He was cute, now that she thinks about it. End of the year comes. She smiles and asks him to sign her yearbook. They weren't friends. Just two kids, trying to discover who they were. He signs her yearbook; the same way he signs his name, today. He doesn't ask her to sign his...doesn't even extend it. Maybe just shy. Maybe just wanting someone to take initiative. Maybe just wanting a real friend. She turns and walks away. What's the point? Her parents have had enough of public schools. They've had enough of the emotional and verbal bullying their daughter endures. They've had enough of God not being allowed in schools. They have decided to do something that's not very common at that time in history. And so, the girl leaves public school, to be homeschooled. The boy's name in her yearbook, is just that: a name....a cute face....a person she'll likely never see again.... Except for this thing called God's agenda...his providence....his careful weaving of a tapestry called His Plan... The girl goes on. The boy goes on. Two years pass and neither one thinks of the other, or even cares. One likes horses, horses, horses....and boys. One likes cars, cars, cars....and girls. One day the boy gets in trouble; his "punishment" is care for an Army Chaplin's horse. A love for horses comes out of nowhere...or does it?? The Chaplin plants spiritual seeds that will lay dormant for years...and years...and years. But they are God's seeds, to be watered in His timing. Remember, it's God's story; not theirs....God's story; not theirs. The girl's mom runs a boarding stable. The boy gets a horse. One day the phone rings. Is it the boy's dad, talking to the girl's mom....or is it God calling, setting up his divine plan? The boy and the Bay horse come on a cold day in March...the 17th of March....1997. The girl and the boy meet again. They recognize each other. But it's different now. There's more hormones, there's common interest, there's no one else, really. There's just them. That day turns into everyday. They ride, they pass notes, they sit in the barn window, they don't talk much, they just sit most of the time. They just enjoy being together and talking isn't really required. One day they kiss; and they just know they will be together forever. They want to be together forever. The army makes the relationship long distance....a couple hundred miles apart....for 2 years. Then 2300 miles apart for one year. God is weaving; God is weaving. Weaving two lives together, day by day. The boy becomes a man, a horse-shoeing man, still wanting the girl. He travels west. He makes a living with anvil, hammer, and nails. The man makes a ring from a horseshoe nail. The girl wears it while she waits tables. Lots of guys like her, but it turns out, she only has eyes for the horse-shoeing man. She saves her money; he spends his. She balances her checkbook; his account is never balanced. He likes chicken enchiladas; she likes beef tacos. She rides English; he rides western. She is clean and organized. His truck is a disaster area. They talk more now. They realize they are very different. But alike in many ways, too. Chris LeDoux blares on the grey truck speakers. Dual tires tear up the night and Bear Paw Road. They ride, they shop, they play Shanghai, they just sit, he prep cooks, she waits the tables. Sometimes a kiss is shared by the chip table, when the restaurant is empty. Sin starts to creep in but not the kind you're thinking. They go to church. They make it right. She forgives. He reconciles. God is weaving. It's His Story, remember; not their's. Twin towers fall. North Idaho boys choose to enlist and if not they ride around in old Chevys, jacked up, with a flag flying. The Girl's horse-shoeing man, leaves. He goes back to what he knows. The girl can't wait to get back to what she has always known. ....Army....Army....Army. But it will be another year before he's home. Another year until they get to be together. Forever. Another year before they get to marry. Another year before the night they've protected (not perfectly, but sufficiently, for five years) and dreamed about, can finally come true...the night they get to be one. The day comes when the man finally gets home. The girl is ready. Her white dress is altered to fit her slim figure. His dress greens sport one stripe. It's summer. But it feels like fall. The orange roses are perfect. The jade green dresses are sewn and are hanging in girls' closets. The girl's grandfather is ready with their vows. The girl becomes a woman that day. A wife. A lover, in every sense of the word. The man becomes a husband, a provider, a hero. A month and a half later, they find out they will soon be parents. The five and a half years that they dated was long enough. They wanted a family. It's what they always dreamed of. A boy child arrives. Satan starts to get a hook into the home life of these three people. A girl child arrives. War ravages and takes casualties...real ones but mostly emotional ones. More sin. The woman starts to get bitter, critical, and shuts down. She's isolated. The man realizes that there are issues but he doesn't know how to fix them, talk about them; communicate. He's isolated. And it's just not that pressing. Nothing grace and forgiveness and love can't fix, they naively think. More children, more sin. Hers and his. But it's God's story, remember. Not theirs. There's devastation, heartache, bewilderment and strife. Thick darkness. Sin. Satan has put one final, last ditch effort into play, to ruin one more family for his sick kingdom. Their family. Naivety on both sides, made them think they were fine. Obedience wasn't as pressing as it should have been. The friends...the lovers...the ones who had known each other since they were 12, faced a word that neither one ever thought they would face....divorce. And they faced an enemy that neither one thought had as much power as he does....Satan. But keep in mind, it's God's love story. Not theirs. GOD'S LOVE STORY, NOT THEIRS. Where the now humble hearts, lose their pride...where the hurt ones learn to forgive....where the sinners repent and turn around....there is God. He is always there. He was always there. He will always be there. He is God of restoration. He is God of Hope. He is God of healing. He is God who hates divorce. He is God who makes two people into one. He is God who wants nothing, not even man, to separate what He has joined together. He is God who strengthens this weak woman and this tired man, to keep going. He is God of grace and forgiveness of sin. He is God who builds and weaves a tapestry that looks like a mess underneath...with what looks like shredded threads, colors blended together in such a disarray that no one could ever see beauty in it....until it is turned over, to reveal a story....a story that will not be finished until one of them goes home to be with this God. He is God who is in two categories of story weaving: some parts He allows; some parts He arranges. But all parts of his story are weaved in such a way, so that in the end, He gets the most glory from them. This is I AM. This is GOD'S STORY; NOT THEIRS. Matthew 19:6. Therefore, what God has joined together, let not man separate. http://youtu.be/775N1v94NkM

Army Wive's Creed

Army Wives' Creed by unknown author I am the wife of an United States Army Soldier I am a supporter of the United States Army- an encouragement for the protectors of the greatest nation on earth. Because I am proud of my husband and the uniform that he wears, I will always act in the ways creditable to him, the military service and the nation he is sworn to guard. I am proud of my husband. I will do all that I can to protect and provide for my family in his absence. I will be loyal to my husband and the vows that we made as we entered the covenant of marriage. I will do my full part to carry on the values and goals we have set apart for our children in the same manner. As a soldier's wife, I realize that I play a vital role in my husband's decision to become a member of a time- honored profession- that I am doing my share to keep a live the principles of freedom for which my country stands. No matter what situation I am in, I will never do anything for pleasure, profit, or personal safety, Which will disgrace my husband, his uniform or our country, I will use every means I have to encourage my husband to be the best soldier that he can be. I am proud of my husband, my county and its flag. I will fly the flag and will always remember the sacrifices made by my husband and by generations of men and women that have served our beloved country. I will try to make my husband proud of the manner in which I accept his decision to defend my freedom an the freedom of all American citizens- For I am the Wife of an American Soldier.

Bits and Pieces

Time to post again, though I really am not in the mood to do anything! I hate this time of year; I really do...

However,

+ The hubster got promoted which is our most exciting news from November! It was a very exciting time for him and I was so happy to be a part of his happiness! Zane got to remove his old rank and put the new rank on. It was precious! :) Because of where we were, I couldn't get good pictures but I will eventually post what I have. That is what I hate about blogging...adding pictures....it's so annoying.

+ the bunnies are now litter box trained which is very nice...no more little balls of poop rolling off the newspaper around the garage! :) They are so cute though...and I still don't have pictures of them! :/

+ We had a nice Thanksgiving, with people from my husband's work. I did some of the cooking and my friend Michelle did some of it. We played on their Wii, which was fun, but I wasn't really impressed....I am NOT a video game type of person though I do actually enjoy Farmville on Facebook. :)

+ We are going to Idaho for Christmas. I have most of my shopping done for my side of the family and I am really excited to see everyone, especially my sisters! :) We need to find a round bale of hay for Hope while we are gone and hopefully it will stay warm enough that the bunnies water bottles won't freeze, ...or Hopes water trough. I can't find her tank deicer, so i guess I need to buy another one unless James knows where it is...I hate winter and dealing with animal watering. It's a pain in the butt...

+ Homeschooling is going well....same ole same ole there. I am looking forward to Christmas break, though. Abbie is starting to read which is exciting! She is definitely ready for Kindergarten!

+ It's cold but not as cold as Idaho. I guess they were -8 this morning and we were about 9 degrees here. It's usually about 15-20 degrees colder there. I'm glad I am not there.

+ My friend Michelle and I did the Black Friday shopping thing and had fun! :) We didn't go super early, since we were tired from Thanksgiving, but we did go and it was a nice time away.

+ Our Ladies Bible Study wrapped up last week and we had a tea party later in the week. I had a blast ...I just love those ladies! :)

+ My husband has a few more new horseshoing customers! :) That's a praise! I have been praying that more would come! :)

Well, that is ending on a good note...I haven't had a very good day and nothing is seeming to help, so I am going to get off here and find some chocolate.... :/ God Bless and Merry Christmas!

My Personal ABC's of Thankfulness 2009

Everyone is doing one form or another of the ABC's of thankfulness...some are doing a daily status on Facebook, some are doing increments on Live Journal, but I wanted to do them all today and post it here so I will always have it...and all in one place. I LOVE this kind of thing. Soon, I will be assessing my 2009 Fruit of the Spirit, and studying for my 2010 one (which is self-control) and I am really looking forward to it. I always do it in January. For now, I want to relish and hold close to my heart what I am thankful for.

A: Abigail. My only little girl. She is precious to me. When I am in her room, playing barbies or My Little Ponies, or helping her organize, my heart just overflows with thankfulness for her. She is a mini-me and it is so fun to watch our similarities. I love her. The only thing I regret is that she won't have a sister, unless we reverse James vasectomy (which we are thinking about....JUST thinking). Even then, there would be no guarantee.

B: My Bathtub....most people probably don't think about their bathtub much but I love bathtubs and I am thankful for mine every time I use it. When you have to live without one, you become thankful for that among many other things.

C: Children. My life is my children. Yes, I have other hobbies but none are as important to me as my children, being their mother, raising them correctly. My home is my life. Most might find it boring or un-fulfilling but I definitely do not. I love it here. I love teaching them here, love being with them. I would gladly get rid of any of my hobbies rather than going out into the workforce. I also would never be guilty of making my own child be the mom. It is MY job and I love it. Some days are hard, but everyday that I learn more about being a better mom, lessens the days that are bad and increases the days that are good. Mothering takes practice. Patience takes practice and there is nothing more fulfilling than conquering impatience, being a great mom, and running a household with order and ease. Yes, no matter what anyone says, to me, children are a blessing. They are highly prized in my book. Now, I don't necessarily like other people's bad-behaving children but I sure do love mine...even when they have a bad day! :)

D: DOD. The Department of Defense supplies my husband with a job, provides for our home and ultimately provides me with my freedom. I am super thankful that my husband is involved in keeping me, our family and yours, free. This country has an all-volunteer military. Isn't that wonderful? Many, many men find job fulfillment in the military because they are involved in something bigger than themselves. Yes, sometimes what the Commander in Chief decides isn't what our men would decide. Sometimes in the military you have to do things that seem like a waste of time (and I'm sure some of them are), or do things that don't make sense to civilians. But it is all, ultimately, for you all. For your freedoms. And I am thankful for these things. I am thankful that my husband isn't a truck-driver, anymore. I am thankful that I get to be an Army wife. I know his job is hard. I appreciate that he decided to come back into the Army. I understand that he may have done it, mostly for me. I don't know. All I know is that if you think being a military wife is hard...try being a trucker's wife. It stinks with a capitol S.

E: In my home-schooling/preschool revolving brain, all I can think about are Elephants...so I need to come back to this one! :)

Yes, electricity! :) I am so thankful for the little things that I, at times have had to go without. Hot running water, lights, refridgeration, and electric heating. I LOVE a wood stove but only for EXTRA heat! :) Someday when we build or remodel a home there will be a wood stove for extra heating and a real wood cook stove. They are so nice to have when the power goes out. Electricity is a wonderful blessing that we have in this country that other countries don't have and we shouldn't take it for granted.

F: Fine Chocolate. I am not an "any-kind-of-chocolate-will-do"girl. It has to be expensive! :) I don't need to explain why I am thankful for this. I think most women know that sometimes you just need a hunk (doesn't have to be big) of melt in your mouth fine chocolate, to make a stressful day seem better. Now, for some reason a handful of milk chocolate or semi-sweet chocolate chips will do the trick, as well! :)

G: Grace, from my Lord Jesus. I wouldn't make it through a day of motherhood, marriage, deployment, homeschooling, heartbreak, financial stresses, etc without the grace of God. I would be a complete failure, wandering aimlessly through my life. I thank god for His grace in my life and his mercy, too.

H: Horses. I love horses and even though my life with them is sort of on the back-burner, by my own choice, I will always be thankful that my parent's bought Hope for me. Even though I don't get to ride her very much, my children do get to. They are learning to ride on the same horse that I did. Someday, when we are out of the military, retired and most of my children are gone, I will jump cross-country again, but until then, a ride on Saturdays, in the summer is enough for me! Horses are wonderful. They smell wonderful, too! 8)

I: Internet. It makes Army life easier, definitely! There is no way I could call all of the friends I have left in various places. I need Facebook if i want to keep in touch with anyone. And when my husband is gone, it helps a lot, too.

J: My husband James. You know, there really are jerks out there and he's not one of them. He's not perfect. We clash about a lot of things. Mostly it's because we pretty much had to start our marriage over again, after the three years that we barely saw each other. Both he and I grew in different ways while we were apart, so coming back together has been hard and it has had it's issues. God will be glorified in them, eventually. James is the love of my life. That fact will never change. Even when we were going through hard times (that couples eventually go through), I still loved him. You're naive to think you have a great marriage if you have only been married for 1-3 years, and it's been all smooth sailing. Hard times will come, if they haven't already. But you better LOVE that man, no matter what happens!

K: Kitties. I love my kitty, Katie. She's so sweet to all of us, even the kids. She's a wonderful pet and it will be sad when it's her time to go. She's already seven years old, now. I wish I could have a houseful of cats, but I wouldn't be able to handle the mess. Notice that "D"was NOT for dogs! :) The mess our dog creates is worse than a child, I hate dogs. They are disgusting.

L: Love. I am LOVED by so many people, but especially by my husband. Why, I don't know? Sometimes I say things that I can't take back. He still loves me. It's amazing. I am thankful that the Lord loves me and has great plans for my life. He loves me even when I keep doing the same stupid thing over and over again! My children love me and it seems that they have a better grasp on loving unconditionally than I do. They are so forgiving of me that it amazes me!

M: Meals. Mealtime around my "well-loved" dining room table is my favorite time of the day. I love that table. I will never get rid of it! It's just too precious to us all. Meals shared with our entire family, that I cooked from scratch and labored over when I could have been doing something else, are well worth the effort. Not only do we share a meal, but little tib-bits of news from the day or the latest funny thing, from Sheldon, usually. We share hopes and dreams; we share heartache and hurts. We train our children during meals, in lessons that they probably wouldn't get otherwise. I am thankful that we have three meals a day...and they are well rounded. We are rich in America. There is an abundance of food in this country that some people can only dream of.

N: Natural Medicine. I love natural medicine, especially herbs. God created every herb for our use (in some way). He provided us with hundreds of plants that heal us. I am truly thankful for medical doctors, their wisdom and to the people who discovered antibiotics. I gratefully go to them when I cannot heal myself or my child. They have their place and rightfully, so. But oh, the love I have for the times when I can heal or comfort my child from the plants in God's creation! :)

O: Open pages...whether it is the empty sheet of paper waiting to be touched by the pen in a letter to a penpal, friend or relative, a thank you note or a hodgepodge poem of mine, or the open pages of a book, the soft, crinkly pages of my open Bible or a letter to me, from a friend....I just love them. I love Opening mail! I love it when the envelope spills out little things my penpals send to swap (called FAT mail) such as recipes, bookmarks, tea, friendship books and Slams, stickers or whatever the fad is at the time. Slips of paper with the scribbling of a poem from Bobbi Jo, a magazine article from another, instructions to a craft that looked interesting, pictures, confetti, address labels, or who knows what else. I know....i am very weird, but it's something I love and am thankful for!

P: Piles of Laundry. I never buy clothes (except underwear, socks and shoes) for me or the kids, but somehow we always have plenty and I am thankful for that because clothes are way too expensive...

Q: Quiet. I am so thankful for the quiet after my children have gone to bed. My body refuses to sleep until I have soaked up at least 15 min of it! I relish those times when all is quiet. When I can think, pray and just relax. For a homeschooling mom, the quiet is great! Add a chunk of chocolate and some coffee or tea, a good book or an empty page of paper to fill and a kitty on your lap and that is heaven! :)

R: Rainy Days. Even though I love summer and the warmth it brings, I am thankful for rainy days when I can stay inside and not have to go out much, except for feeding Hope. I like the relaxing sound of rain and the comfort it brings...but most of all, it isn't snow! LOL!


S: Sisters. Sisters are truly a huge gift and I am so thankful for mine! I love it when Sarah calls just to tell the latest funny thing to happen in our family, or at her work. I love it when we call to share recipes. This is called the SRN (Sister's Recipe Network....also stands for Sarah, Rachelle and Naomi). I love getting together with them and laughing. We always laugh and it's usually something that no one else would find funny. Sisters are great!

Sheldon. I have to add him on here! He is extra special to me. If you read his birth story on my blog, you'd know why. Not that he had a miracle birth or some type of amazing story like that but just the fact that God knew I needed him at the time he came, even though it seemed like the worst time! Sheldon is sunlight, a whirlwind and just absolutely, wonderfully, precious! :) Ask Donna Neale. She says he is D-lish! :)

T: Tea. Whether a cup of steaming green tea in the morning or Chai with Organic Sugar and a ton of half and half, it soothes my soul. I never forget my HUGE pink mug with white polka dots when I go to church, or bible study. I love trying new tea. I love coffee, too, but I will usually choose tea over it. Anyway, tea is awesome.

U: The United States. I know I am getting redundant BUT we are blessed beyond belief in this country and I am so thankful that God chose me to live here! :)

V: Victory in Jesus! I am SO thankful that I have victory over my personal sins, habits and tendencies. I am so thankful that it is richly available to us. If we would just take the time to see it, to realize that it is there for our use, and use it. So many times we try to conquer things on our own strength when victory is right at our fingertips. I wish I would remember that more often! I want to live my life for Christ. I know He can give me victory over the things in my life that seem like they will never change. It's right here for me (and you), and I overlook it so often!
W: Well Water. I love the clean, sweet taste of well water! :) I am thankful we have it!

X: UneXpected eXtra money. Usually in the form of a gift, or a new horseshoing client. We are ALWAYS thankful for a little extra!


Y: Yard. Our yard is big and it is a place we have gathered with family and friends to just have fun. We have a trampoline, BBQ, fire-pit, hottub, picnic table and more ideas to come, that make it wonderful for our family! :)

Z: Zane. I am so thankful for this first child of mine! Where Sheldon is a whirlwind of activity, Zane is my calm, steady, kind, obedient child! It's amazing that the two are so different, but that they compliment each other so well. When I was pregnant with Zane, the ladies at my baby shower laid hands on my tummy and prayed for our son. Everything they prayed has come true. They prayed he would be sweet, obedient and that he would come to know the love of Christ in a personal way. They prayed that he would do great things for God, and his father and I are waiting to see what they will be! :) Most of all we are thankful that he KNOWS God, at such an early age. It is apparent everyday that the Holy Spirit dwells in his little heart! What a great place to end! :)

I know there is so much more I could be thankful for, but I will save them for next year! Happy Thanksgiving!

Tut Tut

Tut Tut

• Jun. 11th, 2009 at 6:02 AM

Well, it finally rained after like three weeks! It was so nice! I have had to water the garden everyday so it should be nice and wet, now. We have an abundance of Spinach, Leaf Lettuce, and just got done harvesting all the radishes. Besides those, the other plants are doing great. We have White and Red Potatoes, 4 Tomato plants, Red and Green Pepper (we hope these make it to the end of the season...they are pretty little still), 4 rows of corn, Bush Green Beans, Cauliflower, Broccoli, Cucumbers, Patty-pan summer squash, acorn squash, Butternut Squash, and as for herbs, I have Dill, Parsley, Basil, Chives, Thyme, Tarragon and Marjoram. We are pretty happy with our garden so far and I am keeping it weed free! I was finding slugs in my lettuce so we put a shallow pie pan of beer next to the lettuce. 8 or 9 slugs died happily while floating in the beer! :) Then we had trouble with the ants eating little bits of things and bought marigolds to randomly plant in the garden and they are staying away.
We had been getting slightly annoyed with driving 40-50 minutes to church, so we had kind of thought about trying to find a new church. I was very worried about not being able to serve in AWANA as a leader for the simple fact of the drive, the gas prices, and the fact that AWANA is during the winter and there is no way I can make that drive in the dark on icy roads. So, I was just stressed out about that and worried that the kids wouldn't get to go because of all that. We were annoyed that most of our Sunday it seems like we are driving, and that by the time we get home we are starving. I took the kids to the park in McKenna on Wed. last week, and on the way back I saw a sign for McKenna Community Church. I turned and went to see if it was an open and operating church...much to my happiness it is! They have a little park there, and the outside reminded me so much of my old church in Idaho. So I got out to read the sign and low and behold, they have AWANA there! :) They will also be having VBS in July which I REALLY wanted my kids to go to. Anyway, the church was open because a boy was mowing grass so I went in and grabbed some flyers. There was one for a Family Fun Night, that they do every Thursday when AWANA isn't going on. They have outdoor games, fellowship and a BBQ/Potluck. So, the kids and i went on Thursday and we are going to go today! James couldn't make it to the last one because he had to work late but he is planning on coming tonight. We went to church there on Sunday----(which is why we weren't at church, Sarah). We loved it! Sheldon would consistantly cry at Emmanuel....like, shrieking....which he had never done before. Well, this past Sunday he didn't utter a sound when I dropped him off BOTH times! I couldn't believe it. I think he was scared at the other church because there were so many people. He just walked right in and started playing at this one. The other kids loved their class, too....not that they didn't love their other one, but you know... Also, I forgot to mention that the added bonuses of this church are these: it is THREE miles from my house....there are several military wives and about 80% of kids there are homeschooled....there about 100 kids there....and probably half of the kids are very mature (it seemed like) teens, and the other half kids my kids age. All seemed very nice. I already made several friends and I only went twice! :)
We liked our old church, but in practicality it just wasn't working. And gas prices are going up. Another thing...my friend Brandi and her husband have been wanting to go to church with us, but said it was too hard for them to make the drive (she lives a mile away from me). Well, she came with me this past Sunday and loved it, and it is only 4 miles for her, so it is working out for both of us! :) So, praise God for that!
Two more days of school and we will be out for the summer! Hallaluliah! :P
My father in law is driving up for a visit (from KY) and bringing some of our things that they have had in storage, and a flat screen Plasma tv that my sister in law didn't want anymore! Another good thing, because we hate ours and would never be able to afford a new one right now!
Then August first we are having a family reunion (a small one) here at our house. My sister in law will be coming...her husband, Randy just left for Basic Training last month, so it will be nice for Ashley to come over and spend some time with family. She has two babies and one on the way, so she will need a distraction by August. She will be 8 months pregnant when she comes (also from KY), so pray that everything goes ok and that she can come. I have never seen her kids! :(
I've been mowing my heart out, and sprayed weeds the other day...lots of yard work to do.
James is in Cross-fit right now, a very strenuous work-out that he goes to, that the Army pays for ....I think he has like 5 weeks left of that, but will be able to be an instructor and use it for PT at work. He is getting very muscled up. I liked him before and I hope he doesn't get too beefed up! :) I like men with slender, slightly smooth-muscled arms. I'm not into the beefy look, but he looks wonderful right now! :)
Life is good right now. I am getting a lot done....being very productive and just enjoying my summer! :) I hope you guys are too!

Military Seperations

This was written by my friend, Amy Brigham...a fellow army wife with a husband soon returning from a one year deployment. She says it better than anyone else could...I've tried to express myself in this way, but she always has the right words! ...


Not All Seperations Are The Same

Dear Well-Meaning Friend,

I understand you would like to empathize with me; to support, encourage, and lift me up, but comparing your husband's business trip or a long distance relationship to our experience of war is not going to do what you intended, for myself or any other military spouse. Separations of all kinds are hard, I will never deny this fact; however, this doesn't mean all separations are similiar or cause the same upheaval and adjustments in one's life.

When my husband walks away to board that bus or plane or ship, we are saying goodbye to more than just each other. We're saying goodbye to innocence, goodbye to normal, and, a very small chance, goodbye for good. The next time I see my husband, he will be a changed man; older and different than the man he was the day he left, on a warm sunny day, that now seems so far away. He will have seen things--terrible things--things we all hope we'll never have to see. The bodies of children lying dead in a field hospital. Blood running alongside the road, after an IED attack. The remains of human beings--men he knew--scattered all over the ground in the aftermath of a bombing. He may have out processed coffins, as they left the country, with the body of a young person his age, perhaps even somebody he knew from high school or basic training, contained within. Maybe a soldier he shared a meal with that very week.

My husband will have witnessed the lives of comrades destroyed, when a Dear John letter arrives in the mail or divorce papers are served over R&R leave. He might comfort one of his men, as he learns his wife has committed adultery and that the baby she's carrying may not be his. He'll watch all of this pain unfold all while miles away from me, hoping, praying, and trusting that none of this nightmare will come true in his life. Even with the utmost of trust, a long separation causes insecurity and questions in the minds of even the most emotionally strong men.

When he comes home, after a long time away, it will be a joyous time to be sure, but an anxiety ridden one as well. What happened while he was gone, he will wonder. Where is his place in this family anymore, if life went on without him for a year, while he was essentially replaced. Will his children know him? Will the littlest ones recognize his face? Will his teenagers still need him? Will his wife love him as much as she once did, knowing what he's seen, what he's touched, the experiences that have scarred his heart and psyche, just as the shrapnel once scarred his hand? Will she still love him? Will that something special have been lost during his absence? Much anxiety indeed.

He'll look around his world, needing to adjust to American culture again, needing to learn to navigate our roads, needing to re-learn how to be part of family life again. The dangers of war won't just lift off his mind, the moment he sets foot on safe ground. There will be boxes to avoid on the sides of the road. Abandoned backpacks in sporting goods stores, from which he'll need to protect his family. He'll jump at the crashes of plates falling at the restaurant, or the screech of the kettle, perhaps ducking under the table, and he'll avoid crowded public places possibly for years to come. For months, he'll feel unsafe without his body armor and weapon at his side and he'll call out all of the possible hazards on the side of the road as he drives.

There is the marriage contract to be re-negotiated, as you learn to live with each other again, to accept the numerous changes that came during the year's time, to adjust to the new people you have both become. Many changes of which cannot be fully appreciated until you have come together again, thanks to oftentimes questionable communication during the time he was gone. Roles have shifted and what once was can never be again. You're both older, wiser, different, and changed. There's no going back, just moving forward, together, hand in hand. Even the most intimate parts of the relationship will need to be entered into slowly, re-learned, and explored anew again. Everything doesn't necessarily fall into place right away but takes time. He's been gone for a year. That is a very long time.

My husband isn't coming back from a brief jaunt to a city across the country. I'm not seeing him after a few months spent apart, with adequate communication possibilities, including a phone that rings both ways, and his being in a safe location. No, my husband is coming back from a war or time spent floating around on a naval ship, a city at sea. From a year of frustration, emotional upheaval, a time when he couldn't adequately address hygiene needs or always have access to a flushing toilet and time spent living through the bodily abuse of twenty four hour shifts. The reality we have lived through, and the road that lie ahead, are mighty different than what you have experienced, my friend.

If you desire to help us, to extend your hand in love and friendship, this is a reality that you must appreciate. You don't have to have lived through the realities of war yourself, to be a blessing to those who have, but you do need to understand where we're coming from, to appreciate the differences between what was yours and what is ours. This isn't just a happy time but a frightening one as well. Everything doesn't fall into place again, easily picked up from where life left off, but must be worked on to find "normal" once again. This isn't going to be easy or going to happen overnight. My husband isn't fully "home" just because he's walked through our front door again. To best be there for me, my friend, all of this I need you to understand.

With Love,

Your Military Wife Friend

Pictures of our New Rental....

I really, really, really like this house and the yard! It has 4 fenced acres for Hope, which I am very excited about, also! There are no pictures of the horse area...

I so do not deserve such a beautiful home! :) Take a look! :) The pictures I wanted first ended up being last, but I don't have time to fix it!

One of the other 3 bedrooms...they all look similar to this one...

The master bedroom

Master bathroom

Master Bathroom

Living Room

View of kitchen from livingroom...

Close up, of kitchen and island...

Dining area off of kitchen...

I think the Laundry room/Mudroom is through that door in the Diningroom
leading to the garage...

The backyard with fire pit and in-ground hot tub...there is a sliding door there
on the end of the house, from the master bedroom, to outside! :)

Another view of the backyard...

There is plenty of room to park our camper here, beside that low privacy fence.

The front yard with some low-maintenance landscaping started...

The front/side view of the house...it is 2200 square feet...4 bedrooms...and built in 2005.
There are trees all around it and not many houses around...the house is in Roy, WA which is a little south of Fort Lewis, WA...out in the country! :)

Womanly Strength

I just have to share this with you guys....

My Army wife girlfriends and I exchange HOOAH Army Wife gifts on Facebook....one I have sent out to a few of my friends is titled "Strength". I really like it, and it not only applies to Army wives, but to all women, who seek to be strong for whatever purpose they need to. A weak woman really frustrates me, for some reason....maybe because at times I have been her, have been where she is, or because of my lack of strength, caused problems in my marriage, my children's lives, or whatever. But even before finding this little piece of writing, God has been strengthening me for only He knows what. I want to share it but I want to elaborate on it, as well....anything in parenthesis will be my little spiritual elaborations....

~ STRENGTH ~

~My mind, body and spirit are strong...(this strength is not of my own doing).

~I take time each day to rejuvenate and recharge... (this rejuvenation I find, in taking a hot bath each and every night, in staying in God's Word almost every day, in the mutterings of prayers to my Heavenly Father of my frustrations, my heartaches; every ounce of me asking for His strength and His grace to fill me, just so that I can make it through each 24 hour period....days and nights....)

~ I draw from a deep well of peace and calm....(none of us, without God, has anything such as this to draw from...you may think you do....you may think anything that you find pleasure in, can give you the peace and calm that you need...but only Living Water can give you this....only the Prince of Peace).

~ I breathe in strength and release my fears...( I breathe in only The Breath of Life --I know He is really called the "bread of life" but I think Breath is very nice, too----...for nothing else will do...no one else is as strong as He).

~ I go after my hearts deepest desires...( I personally go after a desire to please God, a desire to serve my family and a desire to love my man, passionately, and with no regard to his past, present or future mistakes.....I desire to stick with him through thick and thin....to respect him no matter what....it is hard....no man is ever perfect and neither is any woman.....marriage takes work, and my strongest earthly desire is to keep my marriage strong. I have made mistakes in the past...I have disrespected my husband....I have not supported him very well in everything, but I have stuck with him, at least, and weathered his decisions....but ultimately I want a marriage made in heaven).

~ I can accomplish anything....( So often, we do it on our own strength, though. I want God to give me the strength to accomplish anything).

~ All of my dreams are coming true....( I could not say this 2 years ago...my dreams were crumbling before my very eyes....but by putting my faith in Him, he has given me my heart’s desire, and I can honestly say that my dreams are coming true, and in 2 months, I will again have the life that I have known all along that I was born for. Yes, there will be deployments....there will be financial hardship at times...yes, Army life can be frustrating...leaving friends and family is hard...but it was the life I was born into, raised in for 17 years, and married happily into 6 ½ years ago...I love it. So, yes, it is hard but it is my dream...my calling).

~ I focus on my goal and have the strength to make it happen....( I was blessed with a very focused and goal-oriented mind, to begin with....but who gave me this blessing? The Lord, of course. I do make things happen, and find a great deal of joy in following through with my goals on a daily basis, but only God can be given credit for this trait).

~ I choose to be unstoppable....( I do choose this, I will admit. Some days, I am burned out and tell my husband or trusted friends that I cannot go one more day....but I do, somehow. I guess it is because my husband tells me I can, and that I have to. I guess because godly friends encourage me to keep going. Or they watch my children. But honestly, it is not the children, like I blame...I can have someone watch my children for a few hours, only to feel relatively the same afterward. I get through burnout because ultimately, I ask God for the strength to get through it. When I cannot take it anymore, God pulls me up...He gives me a new set of batteries...and just like that, burnout is gone, as quickly as it came....).

~ I am strong...( I wasn’t always, and wish sometimes I was stronger, but I can say, “I am Strong” and know that it is true.......when before I would say, “I am trying to be strong”...)

~ I act in spite of my fears...( I could wake up tomorrow and my husband be taken from me...it is scary...anyone, military or otherwise has to face this same fear...In fact, I worried more about my husband dying while he was a truck driver than I ever did when he was deployed. Other things can cause fear...doing something you have never done before....I could be afraid to change the oil in my lawnmower....I could be afraid to step up and handle all the finances...I could be afraid to raise my children by myself at times...I could be afraid to live all alone in the North Idaho Sticks, if I wanted to be afraid....there are a million silly little things that stifle the conquering of fears. I act because I have to, essentially. You may not see that fear is the culprit for not doing things...not learning new things...but all in all, it is the fear that causes us to let someone else do it. I act on my fears because I have no reason to fear anything. God gives me something to conquer and to learn...not something to fear. That is silly. God gives me these little things so that I can act on my fear....and so that ultimately I can face my biggest fear, and that is losing my husband...).

~ I am bigger than my concerns and worries...( This is basically the same as fear...God has made me and continues to make me bigger than my worries....I do not do this on my own....there is a measure of faith involved).

~ I go for it with gusto....( I rip through my house, cleaning, organizing and living life as a stay at home mom....which I dearly love....but like I said before....God gives me the new energy that I need everyday....as well as the brain enough to eat organic food and drink lots of water! :)

~ I can do anything I put my mind to...( I can do anything that God has told me I need to put my mind to....if it were up to me I would sit all winter and do puzzles, watch Jane Austen films and lay around. But everyday when my feet hit the floor, I try to remember to ask God what He would have me do. His agenda, not mine, though I do wish I could sit and be lazy...but to watch the house fall apart around me would be more stressful than just getting it done....and I know that getting it done, is something God wants me to do....He is a God of order, you know! :)

~ Each day I am getting stronger....( This is particularly true for Army wives....because for no other reason, than, that we are FORCED to grow stronger! :)

~ I take great care of myself...( Yes, it is true...I am obsessed with organic food, and I am guilty of buying second hand clothes for myself in order to afford organic food, for my family, but it is worth it....and water...and green tea, and the study of Herbs aids me in caring for myself and for my children...but God has given me this knowledge and I have more to learn....He has also given all herbs for our use and healing! It is to his glory!)

~ The strength of others inspires me daily....( Yes, without certain people I know, I would not have made it through difficult periods, and again, only God knew who and what I needed and he provided those things/people for me!)

~ I trust my intuition and live a courageous life...... ( My intuition is almost always right but I don’t agree that that is what I trust!....obviously from what I have written above, there is someone whom I trust, far more....the One who gave me the intuition in the first place. As to the courageous life....I would not be full of courage without the people who have encouraged me! Thank you....you know who you are! :)


And these are my elaborations on someone else’s writing...someone who was obviously an Army wife herself, but sounds as if, she did not know God.

Now, for the gals who share the HOOAH Army wife gifts with me....*hint hint*....I’d love this one, for my facebook wall! :) Blessings!

~ More Outrageous Snow Pictures ~

HERE IS A PICTURE OF OUR CHRISTMAS TREE,
THAT I MEANT TO POST A WHILE BACK...

THE BARN AREA RIGHT NOW...I CAN WALK OVER
THE WIRE TO FEED HOPE...

HOPE WAITING FOR HER BREAKFAST!

OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW, WITH ABOUT 3 1/2 FEET
OF SNOW!

OUR TRAMPOLINE

We have been keeping extremely busy keeping up with all of the snow, and keeping the house warm. This is more snow than Idaho normally gets (aside from last year), and I think people are really shocked that it is happening again, and may now become the current weather trend for us. I am a bit scared, as it is only still December and we have almost as much as last year, put together. My husband says that Ft. Drum, NY has 8 feet of snow, so depending on where you live, it may not seem like much, but for us, it is a lot to keep up with and I am exhausted. I am ready to move!

I am having a hard time keeping up with the housework, as I have been shoveling every morning and every evening. I am now strong enough to shovel the whole front deck and the kitchen deck, in the morning and the whole living room deck in the evening. I go to bed feeling guilty that my kids are watching movies all day, and I cannot spend much time playing with them. Lately, though, Abbie has been taking a nap during the day and thus can't sleep at night, so I put the boys to bed and we play barbies in the playroom, and then have a bedtime snack and go to bed. She has been sleeping with me a lot, which helps her. She misses her Daddy, and I don't have much time for her right now, so that has started being "our time". Sheldon gets plenty of attention, and is doing fine, but Abigail particularly needs a lot of quality time. Zane has been very busy playing with his army guys and no one wants to even go outside...

Our Christmas was so enjoyable. It was hard work, but we had fun! I had a lot of family over, and we got about 6-8 inches of snow Christmas Eve. We had a huge breakfast of Cinnamon Rolls, Cherry Rhubarb Pie, Eggs, Sausage, Cider and Egg Nog Pancakes. We had a very traditional Dinner, of Turkey, Gravy, Stuffing, Green Beans, Sweet and Mashed Potatoes, Rolls and Cranberry Sauce...and for dessert we had Apple Crisp. Everyone enjoyed the gift giving, and games, and the kids had a blast. I made everyone Rice Socks, plus bought additional gifts for everyone, and actually found a lot of it, at second hand stores... I didn't get any pictures on Christmas, as I had run out of batteries and forgotten to get more before Christmas...oh well!...

I hope all of you have had a wonderful holiday season! :) I am deep in thought lately, about the New Year. I am just considering some New Years resolutions, some things I want to/need to change, and about to delve into my Fruit of the Spirit of the year, study ( I am on Gentleness this year).

The past two Christmas's (2006 and 2007), I would get Christmas letters in the mail and whenI would get to the end of them, where everyone wishes everyone else blessings and a glorious New Year, I would sigh and deal with feelings of utter hopelessness, that my life would ever be the same again, that I would never be an army wife again, and that I would have a trucker for a husband and the life that goes with that, for the rest of my life. I didn't even dare to hope that those things would/could change.

This year, though, as I read the current Christmas letters from dear friends and family, I would get to the end of them and on each one, I cried tears of Thanksgiving to a God who hears my prayers, who is never in a hurry, but is always ON TIME, who has showered my life with blessings and given me back some of my hearts desires.......everyone knows that neither james nor I considered him having to go to Korea when he got back in the Army. We were very sure of going back to Ft. Lewis, but for some reason it wasn't time to go there. Neither of us understand it, at all. That said though....in April of this year, I had HOPE! I knew that that date circled on the calender one year later signified a family re-united, and back in God's will. I am secure and happy in my role. It is hard... but being a trucker's wife is extremely harder and I was never cut out for it. Maybe I am a wimp, I don't know...

The New Year is quickly bringing changes that are putting a smile on my face, even though I don't know exactly what they are, except that we will be a family again. Possible deployments don't bother me....they are "strictly" temporary. Being a trucker's wife was not "surely" temporary. It had the possibility of being long term. Being an Army wife is what I was made for. I don't think I could function well, as anything else. I was brought up Army, and once brought up that way, it is hard to change, or find fulfillment in any other situation.

I am just seeing this New Year as a bend in the road, a new direction, a positive outlook, etc. I am happy to say that I am happy.......extremely tired, extremely burned out with everything, grouchy and hormonal, occasionally...but happy. God has given me the joy I kept asking for. I tried so hard to have joy, through 2006 and 2007, but maybe it wasn't what God wanted, actually. Maybe He had something more in mind for me...something bigger....like serving my country by serving my soldier, which is something I loved deeply and cherished....(no love for the grand state of Idaho, ever measured up to being a helpmeet to my soldier). I can either feel like a failure for not measuring up in '06 and '07, or I can realize that maybe it wasn't what God wanted for us. Maybe He wanted me to fail...so we could save our marriage and family, which is much more important. I don't know, and I don't know why Korea had to be a part of this whole past year, except to show me what life as a regular Army wife is compared to life as a Lady Nightstalker is. Who knows...maybe it happened to make certain friends, or teach me a lesson I won't realize until later....maybe plain and simple, it is just so I know what a one year deployment is like, so I can help other women who maybe do not have a military background, be strong for their husband soldiers who are deployed. I do know, that eventually God will show me why!

Well, I hope all of you are embracing YOUR New Year with HOPE , because I know how it feels to not have that. It is hard, it is depressing and it is scary. If anyone needs prayer in this area, please let me know, because I have been there, for 2 years straight! :( I know how it feels! I am thankful for 2008...it has been a good year...it has been an experience I am ready to be done with but I have made dear friends who I could have never made it through, without! You know who you are! :) Blessings, and Renewed Hope.....Chelle

Winter Wallowing

The Sparkie's cars...Zane's is the blue with gold stripes
number 64!

Zane with his 4th place trophy and participation
ribbon!

The little ones, wanting to be a part of it!

Well, winter isn't quite here, and actually noticeably late, compared to other years! The kids are so funny...we HAVE had snow three different mornings, and they never fail to say, "Winter is here, Mommy". Only to find, that winter has left! It hasn't been staying, like it normally does, and boy was I dead wrong about snow timing! I predicted the end of October...but now they are saying not til the middle of December!

It is pretty cold though, and Hope has the water trough heater in her water tank all the time. We burn about 12 pieces of wood a day and we have been wearing a lot of extra clothing! Just waiting on the snow to insulate everything, so it will be warmer. Snow really does make winter more bearable, in my opinion. When it piles up around the house it is noticeably warmer...plus, I detest mud, and snow puts an end to that problem.

Gosh, I have not blogged for a month...of course James was home for ten days during November and it took us awhile to catch up on Zane's schoolwork after James left. When I had planned the schoolyear, I didn't know James would be coming home, and if he did, I didn't know when it would be, so I scheduled accordingly. And I really want to be done with Kindergarten by the end of March, so we can welcome Daddy home, and move to Ft. Lewis in April. Otherwise, we will have to do school, through the summer of 2009. So, anyway, we had to catch up.

Ahh.....having my love home was a breath of fresh air and totally what I needed to re-fuel and realize that I can make it until April! Days are starting to fly by again. It ALWAYS takes me a full two weeks to recover from my husband leaving, before I get back in the groove of things. I didn't think just ten days would require that transition again, but it did. At first the days were just crawling by and now I feel like they are starting to fly by again, which is so nice!

Our visit with Daddy was so nice, but we were all sick the whole time...everyone of us got the flu and was throwing up. Seems like all I did was wash puked on Laundry. It sucked...but at least when I was sick, he was not and vice-versa, so we could help each other through it all. Unfortunately, I lost the treasured 3 pounds I had gained prior to him coming, and i weighed myself the other day and I am back down to 95. UGH! You guys do not know how frustrating this is! Stupid flu...you suck!

So, starting tomorrow I am back to cereal with whole milk everynight before bed and heavy cream in EVERY cup of coffee or tea that I drink, and I am going to up the butter and meat in my diet. I hate to eat a lot of meat, but I just need to. I already eat a lot of eggs and beans, but compared to the amount of protein in meat, I don't think it is enough! Any other ideas, you all? I think that my diet is so healthy that it makes it hard for me to gain weight. Plus, I run around all day long, too.

While James was here, we worked on an oval-shaped puzzle...he couldn't sleep at night because of the time change, so he would be down here working on it at night. We also did make it to AWANA...thankfully no one was sick that day....or Sunday, either! Because we were all miserable we did not get one picture of any of us! Oh, well, we had so much to do, and we all felt lousy so we forgot to do quite a few things, or at least remembered but didn't have the motivation to do them. It was a quiet time for us. We didn't have many people over and we didn't go many places, so it was nice, and relaxing!

Oh, I so bawled like a baby at the airport when James came home and we were in each others arms (with the kids, too) for several minutes before baggage started moving in. I cried a little bit while he was here, but totally had a complete mental breakdown, about a week after he left, which I so needed. Now, I can get on with my life. There was just so much bottled up emotion, frustration, heartache, etc, that Thanksgiving night, I collapsed in a heap on my bed and erupted! That is just how I am...I only wish it had happened while James was home, because I desperately needed comforted. I feel so much better now and ready to take on the world, now! Lady Nightstalkers Don't Quit, right???

Yes, and we are officially going back to Ft. Lewis, WA, so I can officially say I am a Lady Nightstalker again! YAY! We will be moving over there in the middle of April. I am starting to contact and keep in touch with relocation people I have found, and have found good websites to keep up on in case we find something on one of them to rent. There are SO MANY rental homes, it is unbelievable! Really! There are almost just as many to rent as buy, so we won't have any problem finding something. It's just that we really want to find a rental property with an acre or so, for Hope. I found one on Craigslist that would have been perfect, but wrong timing obviously...so if you wonder what you can pray for us...maybe just pray that something like that comes up again. My horse is 20 years old and I really want her with me! <3

Eventually, ...well as soon as we sell our KY home, we want to buy, so if i have to board Hope out until we buy, I will.

Ok, so basic family news....My neighbor, Lori (you can view her blog from my bloglists) and I started a weekly playgroup, where we meet at either hers or my house to let the kids play. It is really nice to have a more scheduled time for them to see each other. We have been doing an art project most weeks, and it makes art fun for me! :) We also have tea and something yummy and try to socialize as moms...but it is hard with 5 kids...sometimes more, if our friend May, comes with her 2 kids.

Lori's husband got a deer this fall and she so willingly shared several pounds of the meat with me! Yummy!

Zane and I cut down a Christmas tree while Abbie and Sheldon were napping on Friday, after Thanksgiving. Outside it didn't look so big, but we got it in and up and it was past the open beams in our living room, so we had to take it down and cut 2 feet off of it, so we could see the star! I don't think I have ever had such a gorgeous tree! :) I will take some pictures tomorrow and upload them on here!....plus whatever else is on my camera right now! :)

We decorated with every decoration we have and this cabin is beautiful! For two Christmas's our holiday things were packed away so, I was totally itching to get it all out and beautify this house, for the holidays. I have all most of my Christmas shopping done already too, which is a burden off my shoulders! I still have the kids to buy for, though. I can't tell what we are making for everyone for Christmas, so you all will have to wait to find out. We are on a hugely tight budget right now...we havn't been getting much COLA (if any at all) most months. That is cost of living allowance for Korea, and it is so sucking...plus I have medical bills as well, for my Ovarian Cyst, from September, that I am trying to slowly pay. Stupid tricare standard...NEVER again! I will be so happy when I am in a Prime zone, again!

Really though, we are completely lucky....there are tons of people in our area who cannot even pay any of their bills. A lot of mill workers were laid off a few months back and there are virtually no lobs available and people are really hurting...some are being forced to move to find work. It is very sad and I am thankful we can pay our bills, and we have a small amount budgeted for our groceries, and we are making it! And gas prices have been slashed less than half, so instead of costing 100.00 or more to fill up it has been 50.00, which helps.......and you can see the small town business folks in Priest River, walking with just a bit more spring in their step! :)

The kids are doing well. Sheldon is so full of life and getting into anything he can. He is talking a bit more, and just as his brother is, he is finding his love for Army Helicopters! :) He tries to say Copter an Blackhawk. Pretty cute!

Abbie, has been busy playing with her dollies and Barbies. She makes pretend food and just entertains herself. She cooks a lot with me, too.

Zane has been doing well in school. He is done with his Science book. He loved it, so we went quick through that and now he just learns about things pertaining to science through other books and through things that happen during the day, or something that interests him, like bugs. He is almost done with 2 of his other books, so we just have 3 books to finish this winter. Zane raced a car in AWANA on the 22nd of Nov and came in 4th in his division and got a trophy! You wanna talk about excited! He and James put it together and painted it, so it was extra special!

All the kids are in the Christmas play, at church, too. Zane is a Shepherd and Abbie and Sheldon are sheep! :) I'll have to get pics of that, too!

Well, not much else is going on! :) Or at least I cannot remember it! I stayed up way too late making a gift for my husband and now I am dragging and had to force myself to post tonight! I bought a calender and wrote a reason that I love my husband on each day...so 365 reasons! It was much easier than I thought it would be and the reasons were just flowing out on top of each other! I encourage you all to do it! It is such a wonderful reminder of all the many reasons you love someone, that you tend to forget in the day to day, grind! Naomi (my sister), gave me the idea...I don't know where she heard it! :) But I liked it and had to do it! :) I finished it in one night, because I was on such a roll, and the thing about it that was cool...is that I was totally honest....I didn't butter it up. These were 365 real life reasons why I love that man! So cool! :P

Well, goodnight you all and get ready to wallow, especially if you are in the west! :)