No Title...Just Pure and Simple Thankfulness

Snow while we lived in the camper...2007/2008 winter

Our Trampoline in Jan 2008 before we got the
rest of the snow! :)

These pictures are just to prove that we
actually did what I wrote in this post! :)
I don't mind that I look stressed and horrible...
I was! :) The condensation is even there on the windows...
though, thanks to bleach the black mold was under control! LOL!

Sheldon, a new born, in his bassinet without legs! :) At night
I would move the bassinet to the couch where it was warmer,
or he would sleep with me on especially cold nights. During the day
I would put his bed by this window if there was sun! :)

This is our camper with the addition, behind the horses, there.

My kids were always happy, despite how I felt!

Me, right after James left for Korea and right before we
moved out of the camper!

It is days like these when I feel as if I am in a dream. Three years ago my life was crumbling, my marriage was VERY slowly crumbling but it was crumbling, and without my Lord and Savior, I would have crumbled under the load I/we had. I NEVER thought I would sit on the couch and watch a movie with a husband who wasn't tired (or falling asleep) because of a week or more of driving a semi-truck. But I sat today and watched a movie with my rested and happy husband and my children, in western Washington, in a home very much bigger than my past home on wheels (our camper), while it rained outside. I didn't have to worry about a leaking roof between our camper and the addition we had on it. I didn't have to worry about moving Sheldon's portable crib away from that wall where it leaked into his bed, and laying out every towel I had to soak up rain or melted snow. I didn't have to worry about filling water tanks, shoveling snow so I could empty the dirty water out of our camper. I didn't have to worry about horrible condensation on all the windows that dripped and produced black mold everywhere. I didn't have to worry about how I would keep my children warm at night. I am rested from many good nights sleep...no waking up to a freezing camper and going outside to switch propane tanks in the snow. I don't have to stress out with worry about how much snow we will get and if I will be able to even get to my propane tanks. I don't have to worry about my old horse, with no shelter whatsoever in blizzard-like conditions. I didn't have to worry about what would happen if we lose power in the winter for an extended period of time. My body is rested, gaining weight, and under very low stress, compared to those 3 years. I was warm, curled up in my favorite blanket, with my family, happy and content.....and need I say again....WARM!

I still look around, I still assess my surroundings and our wonderful circumstances, in complete THANKFULNESS, to a Holy and Living God who saw us through the biggest valley in our life, yet. I still do not know how I made it through my trials, practically alone on Earth (it felt like). Not alone spiritually...I would have never made it without the Lord and amazing friends from my church who spurred me on, yet I still felt humanly alone, miserable, stressed and worried. At one point, suicidal, to a small degree. I am still in utter disbelief. I don't think people realize how hard it was. Most don't even know my story. And yet, I can still think of MANY who had it worse than I did, then. But, when you are amidst those trials, it always seems like no one knows what you are going through and no one cares, either. I am excluding my church friends ( they didn't know how bad it was but they DID care! :) I still thank God for my bathtub every time I get in it! I am amazed at running water. I am thankful for a shower that provides more than 2 min of hot water! I am amazed that when we flush the toilet we don't have to see it again. I am thankful for a low maintenance heat source, good insulation, thick windows, plush carpet, a shelter for my horse, beds for my children that are not wet with condensation, and a husband who keeps me warm at night. I am thankful for food other than beans, eggs and homemade macaroni and cheese (these are great foods but think about eating them everyday). I am thankful for my washer and dryer. I am thankful that I knew how to live on less and economize. I am thankful that I could live in the wilderness and probably survive due to what I learned and taught myself during these times. I am thankful that God made me strong. That God taught me to be more faithful...(think about the word Faithful....it does NOT mean loyal, only.....it means simply....full of faith). I am thankful that God prepared me to be a better military spouse than I was prior to 2006. I am thankful for my children, my husband and my marriage. I am thankful that we are all together now, and not drifting aimlessly about in a sea of bad decisions and debt that we could have easily begun to drown in. I don't think many people can so easily be SO thankful for these COMMON AMENities! :) Can you all say AMEN to amenities??? I doubt that many of you can find such comfort in the things that I do, now!

You know...our camper is in our backyard. I see it everyday. I see the remainder of foam insulation on one side where we had the addition...failed foam insulation, by the way! :) I see all the places where the snow and ice and blowing wind peeled the emblems and decals off of it. I go in and smell the familiar smell of the furnishings and wallpaper. Our camper was brand new when we bought it. I probably wouldn't have survived in an old one in North Idaho...so i AM thankful that my husband had the wisdom to buy a brand new one. But you know...it doesn't look brand new inside or outside. We didn't trash it but it looks lived in because I lived in it for 18 months (12 of those months we were almost buried in snow) with three kids, two cats and a dog (for part of the time). I used to hate that camper. Up until today I wanted to get rid of it in any way that I could. Today, I am kind of starting to love it. How is this possible that I don't really want it to go anywhere? I don't want anyone else to live in it. Even if I never sleep in it again, I don't want anyone else sleeping in it, owning it or taking it. I want it to stay in my back yard. I want it to be a constant reminder of how thankful i am for the common things. For life. For love that withstood. For bad decisions. For debt. For lessons. For marriage. For perseverance. For my Living God.